strategy Outbound e-mail closings

[Jay Ha]

Hi mates! I'm sending some e-mails to potential buyers. Currently I'm using a template that I have created while making some adjustments depending on the receiving end but mainly it has the same closing. I'm thinking of changing it because it might be interpreted as offensive.

#1/ Current closing:
"In case you feel that this domain might be beneficial for your business, kindly reply to this e-mail in order to move on to the next step."

#2/ Another closing which I am thinking of using from now on:
"Tons of benefits your business will gain just by acquiring <<domain I'm trying to sell>>.

I'm happy to share with you some of those benefits. In case you are willing to listen, kindly reply to this e-mail."

So these are 2 versions of outbound e-mail closings. Which one do you prefer to receive if you were the receiving end? Opinions and other suggestions are welcome.

 

[ivbran]

It is not offensive. Also not very informative, neither useful for the buyers. Unless you have premium domain, i doubt this email will help you sell them.

 

[Jay Ha]

It is not offensive. Also not very informative, neither useful for the buyers. Unless you have premium domain, i doubt this email will help you sell them.

You're talking about both versions?

 

[NickB]

Personally I do not like either......


I am the current owner of (insert domain name here)- which is now for sale.

I feel the above would create excellent value for (company name here)

List some bullet points of why it has value (roughly 3 or 4)

then end with the below........

I am only reaching out to a select few organisations and would appreciate a quick response if there is any interest from your side.

Alternatively, you can purchase the name directly here: (include link to undeveloped page)

If you have questions please do not hesitate to get in touch via email or phone.

Kind regards

**************

If you use the search button there are some good threads with email templates posted by other users as well which might give you some inspiration..

 

[korganian]

I don't like either one.

The first one sounds like you have no idea if the name will even benefit them.

The second one sounds condescending.

My first thought is why are you even emailing them if you're not positive that they should want to buy the name.

My second thought is why are you withholding the benefits of owning the name from them in your first email.

 

[Jay Ha]

Personally I do not like either......


I am the current owner of (insert domain name here)- which is now for sale.

I feel the above would create excellent value for (company name here)

List some bullet points of why it has value (roughly 3 or 4)

then end with the below........

I am only reaching out to a select few organisations and would appreciate a quick response if there is any interest from your side.

Alternatively, you can purchase the name directly here: (include link to undeveloped page)

If you have questions please do not hesitate to get in touch via email or phone.

Kind regards

**************

If you use the search button there are some good threads with email templates posted by other users as well which might give you some inspiration..

Thank you, very straight forward although I was planning to keep the bullet points for the 2nd communication. Btw, text in red is already mentioned in the intro and body.

 

[Jay Ha]

My first thought is why are you even emailing them if you're not positive that they should want to buy the name.

This is just the closing part of the 1st communication, in the intro and body I mention that the domain name I am offering is the acronym of their business description. Intro and body are 2 brief sentences where I mention that I'm the owner of the domain name (it is an acronym) and what does the acronym can imply to).

My second thought is why are you withholding the benefits of owning the name from them in your first email.

Keeping them for the 2nd communication to justify the price tag.

Thanks mate!

 

[Coinking]

I just used
"i am the owner of this Domain and currently selling this name ......"

 

[Jay Ha]

I just used
"i am the owner of this Domain and currently selling this name ......"

We can all agree this is the best intro for an outbound e-mail. We are discussing closing statements to 1st communication e-mail (cold email). Which is your most effective email closing may I ask? Thanks for dropping by!

 

[frank-germany]

I think it's enough to tell them the name and that it is for sale
-either they get it or not-

I think they couldn't care less if "you feel" it's beneficial to their business
"they" have to feel it

I don't think you can convince somebody
with a "closing"

but I guess it may help
to close with a question


so the real question is:
long copy versus short copy

 

[Jay Ha]

I think it's enough to tell them the name and that it is for sale
-either they get it or not-

I think they couldn't care less if "you feel" it's beneficial to their business
"they" have to feel it

Closing #1 asks them if they feel it is beneficial to their business, not me.

I don't think you can convince somebody
with a "closing"

but I guess it may help
to close with a question


so the real question is:
long copy versus short copy

So you're more into very brief cold emails like:

Hello <insert recipient name>,
I am the owner of <insert domain name> and I would like you to be informed that it is currently on offer to businesses in the <select relevant> industry. Kindly reply to this e-mail if you're interested in acquiring it.

Regards,
<my full name and contact details>

May I ask what is the percentage of replies to this version of cold email? Thanks mate for the insight.

 

[ivbran]

@NamePros could you please move this thread to "Domain Beginners" forum since almost no one here is offering guidance?

Take a look at Email Outreach Playbook by Sujan Patel: https://playbook.mailshake.com/

I see often here on forum people don't understand sales process and believe that informing a potential buyer about your domain name will do the work or if it actually works you probably have a nice domain, but you are not using the whole potential of it. You need to show the value to the buyer. Be concise, professional and try to help them, not sell them.

 

[Jay Ha]

Take a look at Email Outreach Playbook by Sujan Patel: https://playbook.mailshake.com/

I see often here on forum people don't understand sales process and believe that informing a potential buyer about your domain name will do the work or if it actually works you probably have a nice domain, but you are not using the whole potential of it. You need to show the value to the buyer. Be concise, professional and try to help them, not sell them.

Wow. This is a gold mine of a resource that I hope other fellow forum members would have a look at it. Will definitely print some of the content.

 

[NickB]

@frank-germany has touched upon this, but you can not hope "to close" via email. What you and many other people are doing is sending out an offer and if they are interested they will let you know.

Closing is done face to face or on the phone IMO - I have done sales for a long time and have never closed a deal via email unless it is after speaking to a prospect and even then it is a quick yes lets go ahead.

You can ask closing questions via email but they do not have to respond to you and the potential deal disappears - when you talk to someone you can handle their rejections and continue with the close

@korganian mentioned this - why are you not promoting the benefits on the first email?

Your are providing the features - domain name, you are the owner etc but without benefits how are they going to know WHY they should buy from you?

Understanding Features & Benefits (and the differences) is critical:

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234200

 

[Jay Ha]

Plenty of material to read over the weekend. Thanks guys, really appreciated.