humor Share a Joke

[jdab]

Everyone likes a laugh, so share a joke with others in this thread!

I'll get the ball rolling...

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

 

[gemstar]

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

 

[fatter]

Did you guys get the sad news today, Willie Nelson died


He was playing on the road again.

 

[fatter]

it is so cold in Upstate NY that the Cows udders are freezing and bursting



it is UDDERDESTRUCTION

 

[lennco]

How do you get a One Arm Man down from a tree?










Wave

 

[Axc]

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

 

[namerav]

Relation between Failure and Sucess: Bad loser but much worse winner.

 

[namezest]

I sold a million dollar domain today, it was a steal, the buyer was thrilled , but the owner sure isn't happy.

 

[dordomai]

I have seen a successful business on a .ws

 

[Haris]

Optimists.mobi now available for reg

 

[dgmweb]

Two SEO guys walk into a bar...pub, restaurant, food, pizza, beer, drink, local, reviews...

Damn, now I want pizza and beer.