strategy Share your creative outbound emails

[Joe N]

I was inspired by this post made by @Arpit131, and tonight I decided to craft a truly personalized email with attitude for an outbound sales attempt (will share in my next post).

I would love to make this thread a central resource for inspired ideas of how to grab the attention of a potential buyer with a well-written opening email. Members like @Ali have shared personalized intros in the past, and I know many found it incredibly helpful.

So post your original email creations, and let's give constructive feedback to one another on how to improve our email writing skills.

 

[Joe N]

Here's an email I just sent to an exec at a diamond company:


"Hi xxxxx,

Indulgence is a beautiful thing, and I know it's at the core of the Xxxxx brand.

I'm reaching out to discuss a domain name we're offering that speaks to the fleeting desire to indulge in the luxury of diamonds:

Make / It / Snow [com]

The concept of "making it snow" is already a well-known nod to opulence. Attaching it to the Xxxxx brand could make it legendary.

In a world where people are buying less diamonds, perhaps what consumers need is a little nudge toward excess: "Make it magical. Make it snow."

Let's talk. Shall we?"


Thoughts?

 

[WhoaDomain.com]

mine are always long winded like my thread posts!

 

[Miro Baranasic]

Results and responds will tell you. Then you can share to us

It looks good...

 

[Reddstagg]

Good morning Joe,

The following is only my opinion and is not set in stones!!!

Indulgence is a beautiful thing, and I know it's at the core of the Xxxxx brand.

That first word 'indulgence' may plant the seed that buying a domain name is in itself indulgent and not necessary or important to their business. I would suggest something along the lines of 'Diamonds are forever. Much like a website. We may just have the perfect domain name which will strengthen your core brand identity.

I'm reaching out to discuss a domain name we're offering that speaks to the fleeting desire to indulge in the luxury of diamonds:

Not sure that everyone who is not in our business knows what a domain name is so better I think to contextualize it and relate it to websites if possible.

Make / It / Snow [com]

The concept of "making it snow" is already a well-known nod to opulence. Attaching it to the Xxxxx brand could make it legendary.

Again, I would attach less importance to opulence and more importance to having the best fit domain name.

In a world where people are buying less diamonds, perhaps what consumers need is a little nudge toward excess: "Make it magical. Make it snow"

It's never a good idea to point out the negatives in any given industry as they might see that as another reason to not spend money and thus not buy your domain name. Also, I think 'Make it magic. Make it snow' sounds better than magical.

Let's talk. Shall we?"

Again, I would say something along the lines of 'I'd love to hear your thoughts.' Or, something that evokes a sense of intrigue, or a sense of wanting to know more.

Don't shoot the messenger as these are just my opinions and are by no means flawless.

There are many things written about outbounding mails and the like and every situation is different. Check the company's website and external communications for the style and tone of your response. Is it high end and totally professional or jokey and casual. Do you know anything about the person you are writing to?

As they say, you only get one chance to make a first impression.

Good luck.

Regards,

Reddstagg

 

[cooljub]

"Hi xxxxx,

Indulgence is a beautiful thing, and I know it's at the core of the Xxxxx brand.

I'm reaching out to discuss a domain name we're offering that speaks to the fleeting desire to indulge in the luxury of diamonds:

Make / It / Snow [com]

The concept of "making it snow" is already a well-known nod to opulence. Attaching it to the Xxxxx brand could make it legendary.

In a world where people are buying less diamonds, perhaps what consumers need is a little nudge toward excess: "Make it magical. Make it snow."

Let's talk. Shall we?"

Hi, too much fluff and nonsense throughout for me, and "Let's talk. Shall we?" is just pure cheese.

imo

 

[nivadriver]

Can anyone share something that works instead of quibbling about words?

I am interested in getting creative with outbound as well. Would be great to see some original ideas.

 

[Reddstagg]

Can anyone share something that works instead of quibbling about words?

I am interested in getting creative with outbound as well. Would be great to see some original ideas.

IMHO I don't think that there is a one size fits all template.

We are in a professional industry and we should reflect that in our approach. Some business leaders like the casual approach but in some industries such as diamonds I would imagine that it is very professional and any communications should be adapted to suit so maybe something more formal would work on this occasion.

 

[Domaindogged]

@nivadriver

[Sent to company Corporate Three Design via FB page]

Hi The domain name 333design.com is for sale. I am rebalancing my portfolio for the new year would you be interested in buying at afternic.com/domain/333design.com Best Scott

Reply not interested. good luck

[Take from that what you will. Just the raw dump of an outbound attempt.]

 

[Domaindogged]

Next Business 333 Photo & Design via FB page

Hi 333design.com is a domain name for sale. useful pairing with 333photo.com Would you like buy? Thanks

No reply given

So despite being above average in sourcing the leads I have yet to learn restraint The outbound is word for word, yep words were left out. I am not a regular Facebook poster so my self edit radar was off. Putting it out there for other's learning. Rushed and rambling was all I really achieved on that outbound And now one lead poorer

 

[Joe N]

Hi, too much fluff and nonsense throughout for me, and "Let's talk. Shall we?" is just pure cheese.

imo

Thanks for the feedback!

I usually avoid fluff in my emails, but in this case I was hoping some well-written nonsense would help me stand out a bit.

I had actually read an article about the exec in question, and he had recently bought an expensive sports car - not because it was a practical choice, but to experience the indulgence of those few seconds when he accelerates on the open road. The fluff in the email was an attempt to connect with that raw, emotional desire.

Can you share any email samples of your own so we can compare styles?

 

[cooljub]

Can you share any email samples of your own so we can compare styles?

I've never sent one Joe, but if I ever were to it would probably be something simple like this:

Dear xxxxxx,

The domain name (insert name here).com is for sale.

It might complement your existing domain.

Do get in touch if you'd like to discuss further.

Yours sincerely,

 

[Joe N]

I've never sent one Joe, but if I ever were to it would probably be something simple like this:

Dear xxxxxx,

The domain name (insert name here).com is for sale.

It might complement your existing domain.

Do get in touch if you'd like to discuss further.

Yours sincerely,

Simple and to the point! I like it. This is very similar to what I usually use as well:


Hi xxxxx,

We're selling a domain name that <your company> might be interested in acquiring:

<domain name>

You can contact me by phone or email for more details.

Regards,

 

[Joe N]

Good morning Joe,

The following is only my opinion and is not set in stones!!!

Indulgence is a beautiful thing, and I know it's at the core of the Xxxxx brand.

That first word 'indulgence' may plant the seed that buying a domain name is in itself indulgent and not necessary or important to their business. I would suggest something along the lines of 'Diamonds are forever. Much like a website. We may just have the perfect domain name which will strengthen your core brand identity.

I'm reaching out to discuss a domain name we're offering that speaks to the fleeting desire to indulge in the luxury of diamonds:

Not sure that everyone who is not in our business knows what a domain name is so better I think to contextualize it and relate it to websites if possible.

Make / It / Snow [com]

The concept of "making it snow" is already a well-known nod to opulence. Attaching it to the Xxxxx brand could make it legendary.

Again, I would attach less importance to opulence and more importance to having the best fit domain name.

In a world where people are buying less diamonds, perhaps what consumers need is a little nudge toward excess: "Make it magical. Make it snow"

It's never a good idea to point out the negatives in any given industry as they might see that as another reason to not spend money and thus not buy your domain name. Also, I think 'Make it magic. Make it snow' sounds better than magical.

Let's talk. Shall we?"

Again, I would say something along the lines of 'I'd love to hear your thoughts.' Or, something that evokes a sense of intrigue, or a sense of wanting to know more.

Don't shoot the messenger as these are just my opinions and are by no means flawless.

There are many things written about outbounding mails and the like and every situation is different. Check the company's website and external communications for the style and tone of your response. Is it high end and totally professional or jokey and casual. Do you know anything about the person you are writing to?

As they say, you only get one chance to make a first impression.

Good luck.

Regards,

Reddstagg

Very nice! I like some of your changes.

Your approach is more focused on the product itself, whereas I was using more of a needs-based approach, hoping to connect emotionally and create that need.

I actually have about a dozen of these emails to send out. If you don't mind, I'll use your approach for half of them and I'll share the results.

 

[Reddstagg]

Thanks for the feedback!

I usually avoid fluff in my emails, but in this case I was hoping some well-written nonsense would help me stand out a bit.

I had actually read an article about the exec in question, and he had recently bought an expensive sports car - not because it was a practical choice, but to experience the indulgence of those few seconds when he accelerates on the open road. The fluff in the email was an attempt to connect with that raw, emotional desire.

Can you share any email samples of your own so we can compare styles?

Who doesn't love a new car. This approach would be fine if there was a guarantee that the mail would be opened by your intended target. Suppose it was someone of a lower rank who opens e-mails but doesn't share the desire for opulence who works in a low paid job and can't afford the diamonds that surrounds them.

An extreme scenario perhaps, but one action seen from two perspectives.

 

[Joe N]

Who doesn't love a new car. This approach would be fine if there was a guarantee that the mail would be opened by your intended target. Suppose it was someone of a lower rank who opens e-mails but doesn't share the desire for opulence who works in a low paid job and can't afford the diamonds that surrounds them.

An extreme scenario perhaps, but one action seen from two perspectives.

Good point as well.

I did send the email directly to my intended contact, but if his messages are being screened for unsolicited contact by an admin, then I suppose a domain-related email of any kind is in danger of being scrapped!

 

[Reddstagg]

Good point as well.

I did send the email directly to my intended contact, but if his messages are being screened for unsolicited contact by an admin, then I suppose a domain-related email of any kind is in danger of being scrapped!

Two things that I have learned recently and this may just be common sense for everybody else.

1. Put the domain name in the e-mail subject header box. This means that even before it is opened it stands out in the inbox listing and it's likely to at least get a curious glance.

2. Check out the world of Linkedin and find out how others are using this to close sales.

Anything that works has to be considered.

 

[Bob Hawkes]

I do essentially zero outbound so do not have a specific real one to share.

To me, the ideal outbound is probably 3 sentences that do the following:

• An opening sentence that concisely captures the start of a story re how the domain name offers an advantage to the company.
• A second sentence on how to get more information.
• A closing sentence that is a friendly (but not too chummy) closing and call to action, perhaps subtly reminding that most domain assets only sell once.

This is NOT a real outbound example sent, but if I was going to do one for my manufacture.one domain name I might say something like. My first sentence is too long.

Using a descriptive secondary domain name can be a powerful and memorable marketing advantage - imagine your prototyping and custom manufacturing businesses using the domain name manufacture.one on social media. This name is available now, and you can learn more by contacting me or by simply entering the name in any browser. Most domain names sell only a single time, so if this one is a good fit for you, I hope we can work together to finalize an acquisition.

Signature​

Bob

 

[Samer]

Best thread ever! (Thank you @Joe Nichols

Some these outbound emails are pure genius, and no replies, just easy be replies especially 2nd email @Domaindogged shared, depending on company, give it 50/50

i like it, straight to point! like all shared

Samer

 

[Samer]

Thanks for the wonderful ideas, and outbound templates, the idea is not to copy..

This thread inspired me to send the ones been working on, meaning to send,

Thanks to all

Samer