Turning lemons into lemonade

[Rob Monster]

From time to time, I feel moved to start a thread that I think might help one person in particular. However, considering the collective wisdom of many independent thinkers, this might also help others. This thread is about turning lemons into lemonade. As a self-described incurable optimist, it is one of my favorite topics. In my experience, the folks who figure this out early are better off than the ones who never learn it.

As context, on NamePros, I have met lots of cool people, some of whom have really amazing life stories. In fact, in 2019 alone, I have gotten to know many people here whom I now consider to be my trusted friends whose advice I keenly observe and in some of whom I now blindly trust. There are some folks here that are now practically family. And, yes, Epik also hired some folks here too.

To illustrate what I mean about lemons and lemonade, I will share a couple of examples that will be familiar to some NP members:

- Back in March 2019, a few people in the domain industry thought it would be a good idea to chastise me for protecting lawful free speech. This happened in blogs and also here on NamePros. I am not sure about their intention, but whoever was condemning me, ended up making me a lot more popular. In short, my response to being condemned was to engage with authenticity, and to let the crowd conclude for themselves if the manufactured consensus actually held any water. Well, many of you know how that worked out. Much to the chagrin of my harshest critics, Epik has gone from strength to strength as we co-create without care for who makes money or who gets credit.

- Earlier this year, Epik began to make significant inroads as a provider of escrow services for domain investors. The topic was introduced in a thread on NamePros, and within weeks, our friends at Escrow.com dispatched at least 6 state regulators to our doorstep. Although that process was time consuming, and even a bit daunting, we navigated those inquiries. One of the state regulators was kind enough to leak us the complaint. It fingered the instigator as one Jackson Elsegood. At one point when Jackson thought to engage in more of his nonsense, I let him have it, exposing Escrow.com once and for all. Matt Barrie got cute and he got a beatdown too! Our escrow business is booming, by the way and we are just getting started.


This is what I call turning lemons into lemonade. It is all about perspective. What are some principles:

- Be authentic: An early boss at P&G told me this: "First figure out the truth. Then explain truth." If you don't know yourself well enough to explain yourself, go fix that. If you know you screwed up, go deal with that. Acknowledge your faults. Everyone makes mistakes. Live and learn.

- Listen to your critics: Some of them are smart. They can teach you stuff, even if they don't really want to help you. The ones that point out your errors, probably never read Machiavelli who famously says to never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake.

- Try to find the upside: Is there some new circumstance that you had not considered before, consider whether you can accomplish something based on your unique situation. Most situations are not nearly as dire as you think they are. And indeed some things happen for a reason! That's providence.

- Find your tribe: Almost everyone loves an underdog. As long as you are not an unrepentant ass, people will come find you and share their wisdom for whatever you are dealing with at the moment. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Humility is a great foundation for personal growth.


Here are a few simple examples that I know apply to some folks here:

- Spouse cheated on you? Be thankful, you are liberated. Learn from your mistakes. Up your game. Grow in grace. Have confidence that providence has a better spouse out there. Or go back, but on your terms.

- Lost a loved one? Consider setting up a charitable foundation in honor of what that person most cherished. In so doing, know that you are celebrating, preserving and extending their legacy.

- Lost your job? Perhaps that job was not right for you anyway. Assess your strengths and passions. Start a business, or find something that is more perfect for you. If you are diligent, it will work out great!

- Perpetually single? Consider becoming a Digital Nomad. Live anywhere for almost nothing and see the world. You will have way more stories to tell. I am trying to convince @franka46 to set up a Domainer Dojo.

- Sick or injured? Become an expert on personal health. Develop a spiritual practice. Make new friends. Let your light shine. Do you still think your life sucks? Listen to this guy:

The list goes on. I am sure everyone here has had their share of lemons. Curious to hear your story. If it involves domaining, even better!

 

[Samer]

I choose to live my life to a simple moral code;

Learn from your own and others’ mistakes,

to transcend and move forward.

Samer

 

[Ategy]

Are you talking to me? lol .. My life outside of domains has been a royal mess the last two years! Thankfully domains have started to treat me well this year at least!

I think I have two regular forms of disconnection / relaxation .. the first is walking little Steamie .. and sometimes I think going through the main daily lists in order to curate my own lists for NameCult kinda takes my focus off of other things.

One thing I've forced myself to change is allowing myself to sleep a bit more. Although with my knees issues at work, there wasn't much of a choice there .. you can push past what your body wants only for so long .. at some point you have to listen to it .. and I have to admit .. napping a little more often isn't all that bad .. particularly when you've got this little guy curled up next to you!

 

[BradWilson]

This last year has been full of lemons so much so that I've not only made lemonade but also zested them to make lemon extract - literally

I moved from San Diego to Fremont to help take care of my elderly father and stepmother when she fell and had a brain bleed last December. Unfortunately she passed away in March and I've needed to care for my father since then. Now he's having serious health issues. So things are a bit difficult right now.

I've been trying to finish a programming project but life seems to have other plans for me atm.

 

[Internet.Domains]

Cheers to making lemonade! I wish y'all the best!

 

[Mister Funsky]

Are you talking to me? lol .. My life outside of domains has been a royal mess the last two years!

I as well have been in a multi year rut...rarely even speak about it to people I know as the details are more like a really bad soap opera or low budget movie!

Domains have given me a constant variable as well as keeping me off the streets...speaking of which, I put a sign in my front yard with a stupid high asking price for my home and surrounding dirt...got an offer. If they come up with another 35 grand, I will following in the footsteps...er, tire tracks...of Eric. As a young man I took a Chevy van (like the one in the old song) and toured America...to this day some of my best memories and experiences.

 

[BradWilson]

For all those who make Lemonade & Extract here you go...

 

[oldtimer]

@Rob Monster , for one thing I am glad you made this thread in the Break Room section so that you can use your freedom of speech appropriately.

I also want to congratulate you on your triumph over all those who wanted to bring you down, as you said you have actually come ahead in this ordeal by proving to everyone that you really care about helping others and that you are not motivated by wealth and material things alone.

Last but most importantly people should give thanks to God for the life that they have considering that there are many others who might have it worse.

PS: If you don't believe in God then just be thankful for your good luck for being where you are in life compare to others who might not have it as good. (I am sure God will understand in your case ).

IMO

 

[Rob Monster]

@Rob Monster , for one thing I am glad you made this thread in the Break Room section so that you can use your freedom of speech appropriately.

I also want to congratulate you on your triumph over all those who wanted to bring you down, as you said you have actually come ahead in this ordeal by proving to everyone that you really care about helping others and that you are not motivated by wealth and material things alone.

Last but most importantly people should give thanks to God for the life that they have considering that there are many others who might have it worse.

PS: If you don't believe in God then just be thankful for your good luck for being where you are in life compare to others who might not have it as good. (I am sure God will understand in your case ).

IMO

Yes, my first break room thread.

I often deal with people who are dealing with adversity. I was thinking to compile a thread which could help them out in the context of the domainer life which is different than your typical salaried guy with a commute, and for which there is not a natural community as NP offers. You will note I kept faith out of it, since the wisdom is deliberately secular.

Anyway, thanks to anyone for indulging my little side project.

 

[oldtimer]

. You will note I kept faith out of it, since the wisdom is deliberately secular.

It's hard to keep faith out of our discussions specially since we are not talking business here, but the important thing is to have respect for everyone's faith even those who choose not to have any and want to be their own savior.

But as you wish we can keep it limited just to these couple of posts. You do know that you can set certain rules for your thread in your original post to apply from now on, as the mater of fact I recommend doing so to keep things civil. This is what I use for my threads:


Everyone’s opinions are welcomed, but keep your comments constructive, professional, and on topic. Personal attacks and belittling of others are not tolerated.

IMO

 

[vikki88]

Learn from your own and others’ mistakes,

to transcend and move forward.

well said!

 

[JB Lions]

Everyone’s opinions are welcomed, but keep your comments constructive, professional, and on topic. Personal attacks and belittling of others are not tolerated.

Um, I hate to be the one that has to point this out but:

At one point when Jackson thought to engage in more of his nonsense, I let him have it, exposing Escrow.com once and for all. Matt Barrie got cute and he got a beatdown too!

Humility is a great foundation for personal growth.

You guys do tolerate it when Rob does it.

This is another self promotional thread.

Even the 2 examples used above. Again, talking about Gab again. Not sure how going from supporting some hate site to a bunch of conspiracy nonsense, with adults debating if the Earth is flat is a good look to the second example.

Where Rob said he gave Matt a beatdown. Linked to page 6 but:

You sent me a copy a few months ago when you approached me to sell Epik, remember?

That's good? You skipped the first 5 pages. Let me give you an alternate take.

I learned Escrow.com is an accredited Escrow, Epik is not.

An actual lawyer asked Rob specific questions and the response:

Long story short, we are simply operating a private registrar and marketplace. We are not tax advisors and would always encourage sellers to get capable advisors, especially in the case of a large sale.

Every individual is unique. People should consult with their financial advisor. We are a trusted intermediary between buyer and seller that combines marketplace and registrar.

As for John, I am definitely not avoiding him. In fact, I called his office earlier today and I am hoping to meet with him at NamesCon as we will both be there.

Although John did not return my call today he stated on the record that he does not work for Escrow.com.

Show attachment 108222

In the meantime, you will forgive me for not commenting on the record about this topic.

I'm not really sure what the need is to post you gave somebody a beatdown (when you didn't) or stuff like in the video that was posted yesterday, up on stage calling people Shamans and Witches.

 

[Rob Monster]

Um, I hate to be the one that has to point this out but:





You guys do tolerate it when Rob does it.

This is another self promotional thread.

Even the 2 examples used above. Again, talking about Gab again. Not sure how going from supporting some hate site to a bunch of conspiracy nonsense, with adults debating if the Earth is flat is a good look to the second example.

Where Rob said he gave Matt a beatdown. Linked to page 6 but:



That's good? You skipped the first 5 pages. Let me give you an alternate take.

I learned Escrow.com is an accredited Escrow, Epik is not.

An actual lawyer asked Rob specific questions and the response:

JB -- As usual, we'll agree to disagree. I would give the same advice to my kids or anyone else that was in a slump. I deal with about 1-2 "hard luck" cases each day. At some point it does not scale so I am sharing some perspective that helps a few people now and that I can link to later, hoping that some collective wisdom gets distilled. I did the same on a thread about Personal productivity.

 

[oldtimer]

Um, I hate to be the one that has to point this out but:





You guys do tolerate it when Rob does it.

This is another self promotional thread.

Even the 2 examples used above. Again, talking about Gab again. Not sure how going from supporting some hate site to a bunch of conspiracy nonsense, with adults debating if the Earth is flat is a good look to the second example.

Where Rob said he gave Matt a beatdown. Linked to page 6 but:



That's good? You skipped the first 5 pages. Let me give you an alternate take.

I learned Escrow.com is an accredited Escrow, Epik is not.

An actual lawyer asked Rob specific questions and the response:



I'm not really sure what the need is to post you gave somebody a beatdown (when you didn't) or stuff like in the video that was posted yesterday, up on stage calling people Shamans and Witches.

"Everyone’s opinions are welcomed, but keep your comments constructive, professional, and on topic. Personal attacks and belittling of others are not tolerated."

I try to stick to these rules myself and I hope Rob and everyone else here also adopts them for all threads. Perhaps Rob can edit his post to make his language more professional, but that's up to him.

IMO

 

[frank-germany]

- Back in March 2019, a few people in the domain industry thought it would be a good idea to chastise me for protecting lawful free speech. This happened in blogs and also here on NamePros.

Hey, Rob sorry for treating you badly.
I can't believe you were attacked because of your intention to protect "free speech".

Now I understand that you actually are the victim here.
Looks like I didn't get it earlier.

That's unbelievable.
Sorry.

I was thinking you were promoting HATE SPEECH.
Stupid me.

 

[frank-germany]

@Rob Monster , for one thing I am glad you made this thread in the Break Room section so that you can use your freedom of speech appropriately.

agreed.
Thats a smart move.

And no epik promotions this time.
Well done.

 

[Blitzpotz]

After reading the first posts my brain started to develop a personal story. Having arrived here I see there´s another Fight Club in the making. Free speech can destroy creativity at some point.

So why not just promote my business off-topic? However, it matches the thread title nearly perfect.

This thread is about turning lemons into lemonade.

Please write your next thread about turning my domain name Lemon.me into cash.

Leaving home and PC now to buy bananas.

 

[frank-germany]

After reading the first posts my brain started to develop a personal story. Having arrived here I see there´s another Fight Club in the making. Free speech can destroy creativity at some point.

So why not just promote my business off-topic? However, it matches the thread title nearly perfect.
Please write your next thread about turning my domain name Lemon.me into cash.

Leaving home and PC now to buy bananas.

looks like you are into something here:

 

[BradWilson]

A lemon by any other name is still a lemon.

 

[Rob Monster]

A lemon by any other name is still a lemon.

Actually, I will disagree. There is wisdom in understanding that not all setbacks are setbacks.

Sometimes it is a forced course correction through an unseen hand. On the other hand, if someone thinks all of life is random chance, that of course does not make a ton of sense.

The thrust of my OP is that not some "setbacks" can be a catalyst for positive change, or an invitation to move forward in faith, even if it is through resistance or against an opposing force.

Every situation is different so I shared some guiding principles that may or may not apply to whatever adversity someone is facing. Maybe it helps someone.

 

[frank-germany]

A lemon by any other name is still a lemon.

and ...


whats wrong with a lemon
in the first place?

 

[frank-germany]

Actually, I will disagree. There is wisdom in understanding that not all setbacks are setbacks. ..
Sometimes it is a forced course correction through an unseen hand.

so you have changed your view of
helping holocaust deniers
by supplying server hosting space to
holocaust denial videos?

 

[Rob Monster]

and ...


whats wrong with a lemon
in the first place?

I like lemons, Frank. And I actually like you. I think you are bit too skeptical and negative, and that it might give you less joy, but I am sure NamePros would not be the same with out a few resident trolls, naysayers, skeptics and hardened atheists, just to keep things interesting. Keep up the good work!

 

[biggie]

Hi

I think some like sucking on lemons, and turning that juice into $ for whom they serve

Back in March 2019, a few people in the domain industry thought it would be a good idea to chastise me for protecting lawful free speech. This happened in blogs and also here on NamePros. I am not sure about their intention, but whoever was condemning me, ended up making me a lot more popular. In short, my response to being condemned was to engage with authenticity, and to let the crowd conclude for themselves if the manufactured consensus actually held any water. Well, many of you know how that worked out. Much to the chagrin of my harshest critics, Epik has gone from strength to strength as we co-create without care for who makes money or who gets credit.

the above is mostly about me, me and then it becomes epik
yet, there seems to be no separation between the two

is that all there is to, or for you?

- Be authentic:

I don't see it, in comparison to opening paragraph below

From time to time, I feel moved to start a thread that I think might help one person in particular. However, considering the collective wisdom of many independent thinkers, this might also help others.

don't see how it's a help thread, if you revert back to a controversial subject to make an illustration.

it's your choice for sure, but why not use an experience that doesn't involve epik?
or was it because you didn't have any lemons, before yall came together?

- Find your tribe:

I think we know where the tribe is.

glad this is in break section!

imo...

 

[Rob Monster]

Hi

I think some like sucking on lemons, and turning that juice into $ for whom they serve




the above is mostly about me, me and then it becomes epik
yet, there seems to be no separation between the two

is that all there is to, or for you?



I don't see it, in comparison to opening paragraph below



don't see how it's a help thread, if you revert back to a controversial subject to make an illustration.

it's your choice for sure, but why not use an experience that doesn't involve epik?
or was it because you didn't have any lemons, before yall came together?



I think we know where the tribe is.

glad this is in break section!

imo...

You are probably over-thinking this one as if there is some hidden agenda measured in dollars. The intent is as advertised, and that is to encourage people who are in a rough patch. Is that so hard to fathom?

As for my tribe, I have many. I am comfortable with almost all of them, even the ones that think differently than me, so long as they are not hateful at heart. Those guys aren't my tribe but I will talk to them.

Have you ever had something work out very terribly, to the point that it pushed you to the brink of despondency, but then to have it all work out in the end?