This is the very definition of transphobia, when you deny people their own identity.
It's not up to you to decide which gender people identity to. Clearly, gender issues are above your head, like so many things, but there are people who cannot afford to live at your own slow pace of comprehension.
How would you feel if I told you you're not an American because you were born abroad, you are not White or Christian ? What is your definition of an American ? Is that a commitment to shared values or just having the right papers ? Blood ? Heritage ? Pledge of allegiance ? History ?
Fortunately I don't get a veto on your private life and personal identity, nor should you have one.
I know trans people and there is one thing they don't like: people who pretend to speak in their names, want to restrict their rights, regulate their lives, when they should mind their own.
Besides, there is two sides to a story. People who complain of censorship are often big on victimhood but short on contextualization.