Review this Sales Letter

[taktikz]

This is the template that I've been sending potential end-users. I found it on here and modified it to my liking...

" Dean,

I am the owner of Zios (.) net and am in the early stages of listing the domain for sale when I looked up the term "Zios" on Google and found your website as number 5 on the list. If you notice, the number 1 position is given to Zios.com. This is because of their short domain name, which is exactly what people are searching for. As you can see, Zio's is a very competitive keyword among Italian Restaurants. The other keywords in your name make it very hard to remember.
Zios (.)net is short, very descriptive, and could be used for your main site or for one to complement it. The term is extremely easy to market and would be very presentable and professional on business cards, stationary, and other forms of major media, such as television and newspaper. I wanted to be courteous enough to ask someone who actually utilizes this term with their own endeavors and/or services. You are the first Zio's company that I contact so you're at an advantage among your competition. If you have any interest in owning Zios (.)net please let me know. If this email was a bother to you, I deeply apologize and will move on elsewhere. The sale is now open to offers (although, I do have a price point in mind), so please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your time Dean.

Best Regards,

Name
[email protected]
www.NameSale.net
Telephone Number "

I have little experience at contacting end-users, so your advice is highly appreciated..

 

[End User King]

" Dean,

I am the owner of Zios (.) net. I've noticed you're ranked for the term "Zios" on Google. Zios.com is ranked #1. Their name is short, and it's exactly what people are searching for. Zio's is a very competitive keyword among Italian Restaurants. Having additional keywords in your name can make it difficult to stand out.
Zios (.)net is short, descriptive, and can easily compliment your existing site. Should anyone in your organization be interested in Zios (.)net please contact us. Your company is among the first Zio's company that I contacted, so time is of the essence.

If you have any interest in owning Zios (.)net please let us know. We're open to offers, although we have a price point in mind. Forgive us for this cold mailing, but we thought we should let you know.

Please contact us at your earliest convenience!

Kind Regards,
[email protected]
www.NameSale.net
Telephone Number "

 

[taktikz]

This one seems straight and to the point... Thanks ... Any other opinions?

 

[Miyavi]

EndUserSales.com's is a much better version. Concise and to the point. If you do decide to make it longer, though (like your original), I highly suggest some proper paragraphs. No one likes to read huge chunks of text like that.

Also, don't be so apologetic. It sounds weak and as if you are unsure of yourself. You did nothing wrong by sending your e-mail.

 

[End User King]

Jed K summed it up best. Always put yourself in the stronger position. Taktikz I wasn't trying to be a smart ass, I was only trying to help. I send hundred of emails like this each day to endusers and domainers as well. It's what puts food on my table for the most part.

I tried to keep some of your original high points intact. Feel free to delete/revise what you deem relevant.

Best,
Calvin

 

[tricolorro]

This is the template that I've been sending potential end-users. I found it on here and modified it to my liking...

" Dean,

I am the owner of Zios (.) net and am in the early stages of listing the domain for sale when I looked up the term "Zios" on Google and found your website as number 5 on the list. If you notice, the number 1 position is given to Zios.com. This is because of their short domain name, which is exactly what people are searching for. As you can see, Zio's is a very competitive keyword among Italian Restaurants. The other keywords in your name make it very hard to remember.
Zios (.)net is short, very descriptive, and could be used for your main site or for one to complement it. The term is extremely easy to market and would be very presentable and professional on business cards, stationary, and other forms of major media, such as television and newspaper. I wanted to be courteous enough to ask someone who actually utilizes this term with their own endeavors and/or services. You are the first Zio's company that I contact so you're at an advantage among your competition. If you have any interest in owning Zios (.)net please let me know. If this email was a bother to you, I deeply apologize and will move on elsewhere. The sale is now open to offers (although, I do have a price point in mind), so please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your time Dean.

Best Regards,

Name
[email protected]
www.NameSale.net
Telephone Number "

I have little experience at contacting end-users, so your advice is highly appreciated..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

:hi: taktikz,

I'd like to add to the comments already made here.
Please realize my comments are intended to help you.

Take what's useful to you (if anything) and ignore the rest.

1.)The first thing I'd like to say is:
Never say anything that is NOT true or that can be challenged.

You said:
"If you notice, the number 1 position is given to Zios.com. This is because of their short domain name, which is exactly what people are searching for."

That statement "This is because of their short domain name" just is not true.

There are many factors that help a domain get to #1 position. Just because
a domain is short is NOT the reason.

Additionally, if the owner is sharp he will know that by using Zios.net ,he
will be sending some traffic (customers?) to Zios.com just by default.

I would not mention Zios.com for that reason.
---------------

2.)Never Ever insult the person you are trying to sell to.

By saying, "Zio's is a very competitive keyword among Italian Restaurants.The other keywords in your name make it very hard to remember" ,you are insulting them.

You are insulting their choice of domain name- just don't do it, please.

Instead you should say something like:
"Zios.net would be a wonderful addition to your current domain name. Zios.net is very easy to advertise and very easy to remember.

You could also simply redirect Zios.net to your main website or use it
to track advertising campaigns and special promotions."
------

3.)You are sending an email to someone who is not expecting your email
and who doesn't know you.

Therefore, you have to grab their attention and get them to want to read
your email instead of sending it to Trash.

So how do you do that?

By putting in a Subject line that will grab their interest and attention.

Example Subject line:

Would owning Zios.net help YOUR business or will a Competitor grab it first?
----------

4.)You start your email salutation by addressing the person by his first
name " Dean,".

You do not know Dean and he doesn't know you.

Unless you have spoken with him, I think it's much safer to address him by
his last name if you know it. If he is old school Italian, he may be offended by your informality.

I realize others may disagree with this so use your good judgment.
--------------

EMAIL to:
([email protected])

Subject:
Would owning Zios.net help YOUR business or will a Competitor grab it?

Dear Mr.Italian,

I (we) am (are) the owner(s) of Zios.net.

Circumstances have caused me (us) to change my (our) plans to develop Zios.net.

I (we) am (are) therefore making it available for acquisition and contacting potential interested parties.

A quick search on Google indicates that you may be a prime candidate to
own Zios.net since you already use "Zios" in your current website name.

Zios.net is:

• Short

• Easy to rember

• Easy to use in advertising

You could also simply redirect Zios.net to your main website or use it
to track advertising campaigns and special promotions.

The opportunity to own Zios.net may never occur again.

If you have an interest, I (we) am open to any reasonable offer.

Please realize that this is not an exclusive offer and someone else,
including a competitor, may submit an offer that is accepted.

Mr.Italian, if you'd like to submit an offer or otherwise discuss Zios.net,
please contact me:

By email: [email protected]
By telephone: 1-800-TAKTIKZ

Best regards,
taktikz
Zios.net

P.S. Mr.Italian, Please be assured this is a one time contact unless you
contact me (us) or submit an offer.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The reason I wrote "I (we), my (our), me (us)" is I like to create the impression that more than one person is involved in deciding whether
an offer is acceptable or not.

" Thank you for your offer of $75 for Toys.com but I will have to discuss
this with my partner(s)."

 

[taktikz]

That was excellent tricolorro. Thank you all for the tips

 

[dbtbandit67]

it's a great read assuming you can get the person to read it. at first glance it looks like a novel, which may discourage someone. try to break down your points into bullet points or a list

and i suggest removing the apology at the end. if you are really worried about being a bother then don't send it at all. since you're obviously not that worried, it's not worth an apology.

 

[Archangel]

I like this... if it gets any success, it's probable.

 

[mwzd]

EndUserSales and tricolorro have both laid out excellent points and pointers that should help you close this sale.

Great job guys, why everyone loves NP, people are always willing to help.

:tu:

 

[End User King]

Thanks Samit,

And thanks to the original poster for his willingness to learn. There are many variations of sales letters that can be useful. THERE IS NO BEST WAY!

You just need to find your niche and drill it consistently for all it's worth. One of my biggest clients is Whirlpool. They have the money to spend and I've been the recipient of some of that money. One of their names is LaundryAppliances.com. See how this name forwards nicely to their main site. THEY GET IT! These are the types of companies who should be gunning for. Especially if you want a slice of the End User Pie!

 

[deadzoners]

I learn a lot from this letter.

 

[Traveler]

Great thread, I normally don't send out e-mails looking for end users but I have a few names I'm thinking about doing that for, so I have bookmarked this thread. Now if only I could get a spanish translation for my spanish names

 

[Sameh]

Great thread, I normally don't send out e-mails looking for end users but I have a few names I'm thinking about doing that for, so I have bookmarked this thread.

Here is another good thread about finding & contacting end-users.

http://www.namepros.com/domain-name-discussion/68798-how-to-find-potential-end-users.html

Now if only I could get a spanish translation for my spanish names

Try this

http://translate.google.com/translate_t#es|en|

 

[Stargazer]

Subject:
Would owning Zios.net help YOUR business or will a Competitor grab it?

I like this subject line!

The only worry is that it might sound like a spam mail in the eyes of end users.

What is your personal experience using this subject line Tricolorro?

Again... Great sales letter example!