lets get specific
Netherlands: .NL or .COM
I'm from Belgium, which neighbours the Netherlands, and as I'm from the Dutch-speaking part of Belgium we have many cultural exchange with the Netherlands.
From my impression, .nl is at least as common as .com. For sites aiming mainly at local people, .nl is probably even recommended over .com, or at least they're on par.
By the way, Dutch websites can also use .eu (as the Netherlands are part of the EU), .amsterdam if they are aiming at the Amsterdam market specifically, and Friesland province has its own TLD too (.fyl or .fry I think?)

I actually do think that the overload of extentions can create confusion.
In my country, Belgium, .be is on par with .com. Many artists, businesses, websites etc actually use .be as primary domain. Even some artists, tourist agencies, businesses aiming at the international audience, still use .be.
We also have TLDs for the cities of Ghent and Brussels (.gent and .brussels) and the region of Vlaanderen has its own TLD (.vlaanderen).
.gent and .brussels get some use within those cities indeed, .vlaanderen is very rarely used (even some sites by the Flemish government use .be instead of .vlaanderen).
We also have a minority of sites using .eu, but this is not common at all.
Most sites here are either .be or a generic TLD (mostly .com, sometimes .net or .org).
In countries like Germany, China and Russia the local ccTLDs are also extremely popular, probably to the extent they're more popular than .com in their countries.
I would say: choose .com or .net in case you aim for an international audience, use the local ccTLD if you mainly aim at a local audience.
One side remark: not all ccTLDs are well governed by their registries. In most countries in Europe the registries are operating very well which means many European countries' ccTLD's are very popular, and in the USA, Canada and Australia you also have very reliable registries. However, it seems that for example in Africa the local ccTLD's are not commonly used, partially due to unstable or poorly maintained registries operating those ccTLD's. Many African websites seem to use .com instead of the local ccTLD.
I'd choose .com over the local ccTLD in case you have doubts about how well the ccTLD is maintained.