- Impact
- 485
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because
it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the
road because he recognized the need to engage in
cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
right from Day One! that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There
is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that
chicken... What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the
chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It
was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens.
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this
chicken won't realize that he must first deal with
the problem on this side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he's acting by not taking on his current problems
before adding new problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road
so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that
he can just drive across the road and not live his
life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:
We have reason to believe there
is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way
he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with
a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, But why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.'
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong
dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008.
This new platform is much more stable and will never craβ¦#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because
it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the
road because he recognized the need to engage in
cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
right from Day One! that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There
is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that
chicken... What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the
chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It
was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens.
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this
chicken won't realize that he must first deal with
the problem on this side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he's acting by not taking on his current problems
before adding new problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road
so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that
he can just drive across the road and not live his
life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:
We have reason to believe there
is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way
he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with
a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, But why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.'
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong
dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008.
This new platform is much more stable and will never craβ¦#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
.
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