Things We Wouldn't Want To Hear...

[dgridley]

Let's start a thread of things we wouldn't want to hear...

while riding in a car:

"Gee, this is the longest I've ever gone without having a seizure."


while in the Dentist chair:

"Wow, my first patient!"


while changing a fuse:

"You do realize you're standing in water, right?"


Anyone else have more?

 

[AdoptableDomains]

While logging into your registrar:
"Sorry that account does not exist."

 

[dgridley]

After finishing a plate of seafood salad:

"I thought you were allergic to shrimp?"

 

[Joe Tito]

While having sex
-"Is it in yet"

The four words that will break a mans confidence

 

[dgridley]

Sorry to hear about your bad experience, Joe

-"Is it in yet"

The four words that will break a mans confidence

 

[Joe Tito]

Sorry to hear about your bad experience, Joe

...me too.

 

[kw31]

CNN Headline reading:

New internet technology renders .coms useless

 

[sunken]

While getting a ticket...

"Yours is the highest I've written in awhile..."

While in the doctor's office...

"This will only be a slight discomfort..."

While standing in line at a fast food restaurant

"I think I dropped my retainer in the french fryer..."

While looking at an adult website

"Honey, I'd like you to meet the church club president and head of the PTA..."

True story at a Subway in Orlando...

"I had sex right on that counter back there where the meat is cut..."

At an auto mechanics:

"Well the good news is the tires are still in fair shape..."

 

[inflames]

Questions Not To Ask In Other Countries :tu:

United States - who's john wayne ?
Korea - can u watch my dog , or will u deep fry him ?
Russia - is it always this cold and Economically depressing ?
Ireland- is my beer suppose to be black or did a lepercaun Sh*t In it ?

 

[vip-ip]

Don't be hatin mother russia!

While I'm online playing UT2004, parent(s):
"Dinner!"
While doing a school project, someone on AIM:
"hey"
When I'm lazy, phonecall:
"Wanna come over?"
When I don't know an answer or don't have my homework done, teacher:
"Vasiliy?.."


lol

 

[AdoptableDomains]

From your kids:
"Dad, what does 'now formatting your hard drive' mean?"

"Hey Dad, yesterday I got an email asking to update your credit card with eBay, so I entered the information for you."

Via Cellular phone: "Dad, who does our car insurance?"

Via phone at work: "Dad, will 9-1-1 get me the fire department too?"

From the Dr. doing your vasectomy under local anesthetic:

Oops!....<pause>...<to nurse>..Quick, get me some gauze pads!
(True story...this happend to me...he nicked a blood vessel)

From your Doctor:
"I have good news and bad news."
"How much insurance do you have?"
"Do you have a will?"

From your Lawyer:
"Your doctor says you may be needing a will?"
"I got a letter from your ex-wife's attorney..."
"I think the IRS may be right..."
"Sorry, I did the best I could."
"I've never lost a case....where I sued my client for payment."

Overheard coming from the kitchen in a restaurant:
aaaaaah...Chooooo!
"Where's the fire extinguisher?"
"Hey johnny, would you let the exterminator out the back door."
"The first aid kit's in the manager's office. I think there's a trourniquet in it."
Bzzzt....Bzzzt.......Bzzt.Bzzt... (sound of a bug zapper).
"It's okay, they'll never know."

 

[Kenny]

Four words you hate to hear on the Golfcourse:

"It's still your shot."