Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?" Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day."
Those 3 : made my day, month and possibly year!
Cheers!
---------- Post added at 08:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:39 PM ----------
The Funniest Divorce Letter
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
Leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for
Seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
Called to tell me that you quit your job today and
That was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that
I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal
And even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You
Ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
Watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you
Love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that
Connects us as husband and wife.
Either you're cheat ing on me or you don't lov e me
Anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
Moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great
Life!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
you forgot the second part to that divorce letter
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99...
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla',,,was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.
