Police Stories

[dgridley]

GOOD
Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR
TRAP AHEAD". The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was a
bit further down the road with a sign reading "TIPS"and a bucket full of
money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being
cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police
responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST
A Young woman was pulled over for speeding. As Wisconsin State Trooper
Officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she
said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers
Ball. "He replied, "Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls." There
was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol
car and left.

 

[The Equivocate]

We did that thing with the speed trap, made $120 before they pulled down the street and saw us and then threatened to arrest us, but they were just trying to threaten us... the reaction from the cop was priceless.

 

[EricH]

TOP 12 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Bonus: Ocifer, take me drunk, I'm home.

 

[Redleg]

This is an Urban legend from Norway, haven't found any evidence about it, but it's a fun story anyway:

In a police office somewhere here in Norway there's supposed to be a picture of a small tractor (like the one ine the attachment) doing way over 200km/h (125+ miles/hour) past an automated radar post..

The "driver" had long hair that were going straight out from the back of his head, so it looked like he was going real fast..


The "legend" says that they had placed the tractor in front of the photo box, and buildt up some serious speed with a motorcycle who drove past the tractor.
The motorcycle were supposed to have gone so fast that it was past the box when the picture was taken..


True or not??

It's a great story anyway.. :lol:

 

[Mark]

I wasn't quite that enterprising as a youth - lol -

I think the worse Trouble (we ever got Caught at) was when my buddy busted the "Blue Light" Atop a NC Highway Patrol cruiser as it passed my parents yard. -

Tips ~

-Don't do it in Broad Daylight !
-When your Nearest neighbor is about a half mile Each way ... Doesn't help to Run !

I'll post more as soon as "Statute of Limitations" allows ....

 

[jroy]

Deflating Experience!.......
This is long but... We had caught a rape suspect one evening several hours after it occurred. We went by to get the victim for an ID but she had two children and couldn't leave. I volunteered to watch the kids while my partner transported. I stood on the balcony of the apts having a smoke and my attention was drawn to flickering candles below. Through some mini blinds I could see a man caressing a naked lady. The view was hazy but clear enough to see what was taking place. As I watched he climbed on top and began making love to her.. she didn't move. He apparently finished and got up, covering the lady. He covered the body completely, head to toe, tucking the covers under like he was wrapping a cadaver. It appeared to me as if I was watching an actual case of necrophilia, compounded by all the burning candles as sort of a shrine. He then laid next to the body and began rubbing her body through the covers. She never moved or showed any signs of response.I thought I was actually witnessing a case of necrophilia. Upon my partners return, we agreed it needed checking. I knocked on the door and the man asked who it was. When I uttered the immortal word "POLICE!", he killed the light and we could hear rummaging around in the apt. Through the partially closed blinds I could see him moving the body from the bed out of my sight. We banged louder and ordered him to open the door. Just as I was getting ready to kick the door, it opened and we went in. No body. This was a motel room so he couldn't have hid the body that quickly. I went to the bathroom, but nothing. The shower curtain was closed and I was sure she had to be in there. Pulling back the curtain, nothing! As I turned back into the hall I saw a large pile of clothes that might conceal a body. Fearing the worst I pulled some clothes aside and there she was with a big gash in her side.....the inflatable doll the guy was doing!!!! He panicked when we knocked, couldn't get the air out quick enough so "killed" her, hiding her body. The guy was actually doing plastic. Over 10 years and I still laugh about that one. .....Sgt Keith Underwood, South Gate PD, CA http://www.geocities.com/absea98/icopstory.html

found it on a web site, pretty funny

 

[LeeRyder]

redleg, thats actually a commercial for the Kawasaki Ninja from 2 years ago (had it on my site).

OK, here's mine though. true story.

I had a friend a number of years ago that was younger than I. His father asked me to be a psuedo mentor for him since he had just graduated highschool and was getting into trouble.

For his highschool graduation/birthday present, Darwin's dad bought him a 1996 Dodge Viper (new at the time). Very nice ride.
One day about 2 weeks after Darwin had left for college at UCSB, he called me up on the phone telling me he was heading down to LA and to find us something to do that night.
2 hours later as he approached the city he called back:

D: "So whats the plan for tonight?"
L: "Darwin! I got 2 chicks meeting us up at the AM/PM near Universal City walk at Midnight!"
D: "Serious! Sweet! Dude promise me I'll get laid."
L: "Darwin, I gaurantee you will be f*cked!"


OK, so at 11:45 we pull into the AMPM up there. Bad area, sweet ride. We're just kicking back talking in the car on the side of the building when a CHP car rolls by. So I say to Darwin "Dude, lets roll..this looks bad sitting here. we can come back in a few minutes."

So, as we pull out of the gas station, the CHP car pulls in behind us. We stop at the light and Darwin goes "Dude, their f*cking with me. I didnt do anything wrong and their gonna pull me over!"
I say "Dar, chill bro, you didnt do anything wrong. they cant pull you over.

Wrong

Light turns green, CHP lights us up, on the loud speaker telling us to pull over immediatly.

So we pull over and the first cop comes up to the car, asks for Darwins registration and license..etc.
D: "Yes sir. Why did you pull me over?"
Cop1: "You have no front license plate"
D: "But sir, there's no where to put one on the front of this car"
Cop1: "Shut up and give me your license."
D: "yes sir"

Cop walks away, second cop comes up to the car and asks for my id and to step out of the vehicle. As i get out he leads me back to the hood of the patrol car and begins to pat me down.
First cop goes back to Darwin and says:
Cop1: "You know your license has been suspended since April?"
D: "What? no way!"
Cop1: "Yup, we're gonna have to tow your car"
D: "No sir! Let Lee Drive, he has a license!"
Cop1: "No, Lee has warrants, he is going back to Prison."
D: "BACK to prison?!?! Lee's NEVER BEEN to Prison!"
Cop1: "Shut up and get out of the car."

Darwin sheepishly, confused...gets out of the car and begins to walk back towards me mumbling "Lee's going to prison...."

I hear Darwin and begin fighting with the cop thats searching me. The cop then tosses me onto the hood of the patrol car pinning my arm behind my back.

D: "Lee! STOP! Their gonna kick your ass!"
L: "Dude! I can't go back to prison!"

Cop2 shines his flashlight in Darwins Eyes causing Darwin to take a step back and put his hands up, the cop then goes..

Cop2: "What's your name son?"
D: "D d d Darwin officer.."
Cop2: "Darwin, Hi.. i'm Dan, Lee's friend. Nice to meet you"

I've never seen anyone that close to passing out.
:D

 

[Redleg]

redleg, thats actually a commercial for the Kawasaki Ninja from 2 years ago (had it on my site).

Oh, but the "legend" is much much older than that..