Poem I Wrote

[Fallen]

Ok. So a month ago I as sitting in front of a computer in art class [I work with photoshop] and I couldn't think of anything to do. I remembered that I was waiting a for a very important e-mail from my church youth leader concerning our trip that we are going to be taking next week to Ohio. Out of the blue I had received some e-mail from poerty.com. I read through the e-mail and visited their website. I didn't have anything sort of poem already written so I decided to wing it. I came up with this crappy [well, at least I thought it was crappy] 10 line poem and clicked the submit button. I Wasn't very confident at the time that it would win anything. But just today I received a letter from Poetry.com that my poem [which I thought was crappy] had made it to the semi-finals and regardless of whether I won something or not I was going to be published in their upcoming book. I was surprised and I couldn't believe it. All this for something I wrote that I thought wasn't even good. I'm now excited and I guess only time will tell how my poem does from here.

Here's the poem [again which I thought as crappy]"

Title: Fantasies and Tangibilities

Things have stayed the same...
In reality it hasn't.
Forever we'll be...
In reality we're not.
Laughter you will always hear;
Not in our reality.
An unbreakable bond...
As if in our reality!
Car rides are forever
Yeah, in a different reality.

P.S. This isn't the original version. I had to tweak it a bit in order for it to have been able to meet the length requirements and such.

Comments on the poem?

Comments on the poem?

 

[Barrucadu]

It's different, I don't really like the style, but if it got to the semi-finals, other people must do.

 

[sashas]

Ok. So a month ago I as sitting in front of a computer in art class [I work with photoshop] and I couldn't think of anything to do. I remembered that I was waiting a for a very important e-mail from my church youth leader concerning our trip that we are going to be taking next week to Ohio. Out of the blue I had received some e-mail from poerty.com. I read through the e-mail and visited their website. I didn't have anything sort of poem already written so I decided to wing it. I came up with this crappy [well, at least I thought it was crappy] 10 line poem and clicked the submit button. I Wasn't very confident at the time that it would win anything. But just today I received a letter from Poetry.com that my poem [which I thought was crappy] had made it to the semi-finals and regardless of whether I won something or not I was going to be published in their upcoming book. I was surprised and I couldn't believe it. All this for something I wrote that I thought wasn't even good. I'm now excited and I guess only time will tell how my poem does from here.

Here's the poem [again which I thought as crappy]"

Title: Fantasies and Tangibilities

Things have stayed the same...
In reality it hasn't.
Forever we'll be...
In reality we're not.
Laughter you will always hear;
Not in our reality.
An unbreakable bond...
As if in our reality!
Car rides are forever
Yeah, in a different reality.

P.S. This isn't the original version. I had to tweak it a bit in order for it to have been able to meet the length requirements and such.

Comments on the poem?

Comments on the poem?

Sorry to burst the bubble buddy, but that letter you received is something that can be called a scam (though not technically)
You might want to search Google for Poetry.com Scam. Or look at this:
http://www.eliteskills.com/writing_scams/poetry.com.scam.php

What they do is that they select almost every poem (and this is something I've done myself; my 6 line poem with "cat sat on a mat" was accepted too) and mail the writer an impressive looking letter. What they also ask in that letter is that you must PAY to get a copy of your published work. Any legitimate poetry/writing magazine/journal will give you free copies if you get published in them (and most magazines pay YOU if you get published; poetry.com ASKS you for money...).

I say this from experience...I'm a writer, so I know most poetry/literary magazines.

 

[zbigis]

Not bad :D Like first poem its really nice , but i dont like poems , but anyways , good job !

 

[Phoebe_]

Nice poem mate!

 

[dezinerite]

Sorry to burst the bubble buddy, but that letter you received is something that can be called a scam (though not technically)
You might want to search Google for Poetry.com Scam. Or look at this:
http://www.eliteskills.com/writing_scams/poetry.com.scam.php

What they do is that they select almost every poem (and this is something I've done myself; my 6 line poem with "cat sat on a mat" was accepted too) and mail the writer an impressive looking letter. What they also ask in that letter is that you must PAY to get a copy of your published work. Any legitimate poetry/writing magazine/journal will give you free copies if you get published in them (and most magazines pay YOU if you get published; poetry.com ASKS you for money...).

I say this from experience...I'm a writer, so I know most poetry/literary magazines.

I second that...unfortunately! I used to love writing poems when I was a teenager and had a few published locally so I sent one to poetry.com and they sent me that 'congrats' letter - plus a bunch of stuff like how to buy the anthology, how to get my poem mounted, etc. They went as far as telling me to pay for shipping (to get some sort of award thing). I was a young teen then so I didn't know much about scams. Thankfully my elder sister did some research about it and told me to just forget the whole thing.

I think your poem is alright but it's just a bit too confusing IMHO. It's a whole lot like a riddle, lol. The title is a bit too over the top and because of that, the reader is left with the feeling that the rest of the poem didn't "deliver." If you what I mean...?

 

[Fallen]

Sorry to burst the bubble buddy....

Yeah. You didn't really burst my bubble. I know it was a scam. I personally knew that it was not-so-well written poem and I myself would have not awarded anything to it. Haha.

I think your poem is alright but it's just a bit too confusing IMHO. It's a whole lot like a riddle, lol. The title is a bit too over the top and because of that, the reader is left with the feeling that the rest of the poem didn't "deliver." If you what I mean...?

Don't worry. It wasn't anything special. I just winged the darn thing. I wasn't really expecting a whole lot from it. I don't know if you get what I am trying to say. But it just one of those things that you do just to do it and you don't care of the outcome. I hope I have explained [ or at least tried to anyways ] myself.

 

[Netty]

Sorry to burst the bubble buddy, but that letter you received is something that can be called a scam (though not technically)
You might want to search Google for Poetry.com Scam. Or look at this:
http://www.eliteskills.com/writing_scams/poetry.com.scam.php

What they do is that they select almost every poem (and this is something I've done myself; my 6 line poem with "cat sat on a mat" was accepted too) and mail the writer an impressive looking letter. What they also ask in that letter is that you must PAY to get a copy of your published work. Any legitimate poetry/writing magazine/journal will give you free copies if you get published in them (and most magazines pay YOU if you get published; poetry.com ASKS you for money...).

I say this from experience...I'm a writer, so I know most poetry/literary magazines.

Do you know anything about publishing the translated works online?
I want to translate some stuff, without claiming that it is mine. but there is some great not translated to English yet, or less know to a mass audience. how do e-books work?!

 

[theSun]

The tone is not consistant, and is not in-depth enough. I like more depth.

 

[Michelle Ü]

nice...sounds really good.