What do you say for this email?
Others may disagree, but here's my 2 cents.
I'd take out "
Be a winner" at the top of your email. (Are you implying they are losers if they don't by your domains???) If you insist upon including anything, leave it at, "
Act now before your competitors do!"
Your opening line, "
This is your chance...", Needs to be shorter. I'll let others make suggestions for appropriate wording.
Next, I'm guessing English is not your native tongue, so I'd recommend you change each instance of "
ebetting.eu & egaming.eu is" to "
ebetting.eu & egaming.eu are". (Use "is" for singular and "are" for plural.)
I'd also avoid asking the question, "
What can you use ebetting.eu & egaming.eu for?" Don't make the target of your sales pitch try to figure out why the domain(s) are/may be of value, TELL THEM how/why your domain(s) is/are the best solution to their need/problem (which they may or may not know exists).
I'd also be consistent with how you present your domains. In your graphic you use "
eBetting.eu & eGaming.eu" but in the body of sales pitch you present your domains in all lower case letters, "
ebetting.eu & egaming.eu". I prefer the way you did it in your graphic.
I always use appropriate capitalization in pitching domains as I feel it helps make the domain stand out by creating a more visually appealing and memorable representation instead of simply seeing it as some words or characters strung together.
Also, I'd suggest that you be a little more positive/aggressive in the way you describe your domains. Instead of saying "
ebetting.eu & egaming.eu are 2 good domains...", I'd go with "
ebetting.eu & egaming.eu are 2 great domains that can...". Or maybe, "
ebetting.eu & egaming.eu are the perfect domains for..."
As to the WHOLE last portion of your sales pitch dealing with buying your domains, it's too long and convoluted. It needs to be simplified with a stronger call to action.
One last thought, I'm not a big fan of this type of "flashy" sales pitch, though I'm sure it works for some. I much prefer a short, concise all text (or mostly) email that is subdued and to the point.
Good luck!