Seams like you are the one who is "clueless".
Domains in pending delete are NOT under control of the previous owner (or even the Registrar) anymore. Once a domain enters pending delete status, nobody has control over it, except the registry (not Registrar) - for instance in case of .com domains - verisign, who will release the domain after 6 days for the public (including all the snapping services who will fight for it on drop day, if the name is good).
Expired domains in stages before pending delete is a different story.
Go learn the domain basics first before calling everyone who is participating in aftermarket "clueless".
p.s. of course its always better to cut out the middleman and buy good names directly from previous owners (if possible and if they still have control over the name and reply to messages). But be sure that this is nothing new and you are not the only one doing that.
Sometimes there is no other way than participating in auctions, backorder, etc.