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This is a long story so grab a snack or two 
I had a small crush on Holly Hunter going back to "Raising Arizona" I am 48 now and was 29 the night this happen.
It started one night when I was watching the Arsenio Hall show in 1993 and Holly was on there promoting a play she was doing in Hollywood. I cant remember the name of the play at this moment but it was playing at a really, really small theater called the Met.
It was a 99 seat playhouse, so small the front row of seats are on the stage.
I went down to the Met the next day to buy a ticket and was surprised not only how small the theater was but that it was off this side street with no parking lot and in kind of a bad part of the town.
When I bought my ticket I was surprised that there was some tickets available for the closing night, so I was thrilled to get one for the last night of the play.
When it came time to go to the play and not wanting to drive my brand new pickup truck to that part of town I had ask my mother if I could borrow her car.
BIG Mistake!
She drove a 1980 Ford Pinto!
As I pulled up to the theater not knowing where I was going to park since there was no parking lot, I was then shocked to see they were using Valet parking!
And I had no choice! The valets were parking all the cars down the street on all the side streets. I did feel safe about my car since I was driving a Pinto.
We all entered the playhouse and had to wait in a small lobby until the show was about to start.
While I was waiting I was thrilled to see so many celebrities that were there to see the play. So I proceeded to gather up some autographs (as tacky as that was.)
Remember it was just 99 people to see the play.
I got to mingle with Jennifer Jason Leigh, Marry McDonald, Carroll Kane, Bill Pullman, Eileen Brennan, Diane Keaton, and Philip Baker Hall among others.
While we waited to enter I got to sit with Philip Baker Hall for about 15 minutes and chat, He is a great guy, Philip was just too cool!
When the doors opened for us to take our seats it was first come seating so I took full advantage and rushed to the first row and grab the best seat in the house!
Smack right in the middle of the first row! And like I had said the first row was part of the stage.
Now, the play was a little strange, little violent and little kinky..lol
It only consisted of four players,
Holly Hunter, Bill Pullman, Carroll Kane and I can’t remember the fourth actor.
Holly and Bill played brother and sister. And by the end of the play
everyone dies.
Now, one scene in particular I have to mention because this is where the night started to get little strange for me.
The scene called for Holly to fantasize sexually about her brother (Bill)
I will put this as clean as I can without my post getting deleted..lol
Holly had to lie on her back directly in front of me on stage, and I mean when she laid down on the floor her feet was about a foot and a half away from me.
She was wearing a loose dress and she then pulled up her dress to expose a pair a skin colored panties to make it look like there was no panties, and on the panties was a marker drawn body part to make it look real.
She then proceeded to, lets say…Satisfy her self! Just a foot and half away from ME!
Talk about the Serial Life. How many people get to not only to meet one of their favorite movie stars but also get to watch them do that?
It was WILD! GREAT! But WILD!
Now after the play was over about half the audience left but most of the celebrities stayed around. No one bothered to ask me to leave so I hung around like a fly on the wall.
At first I waited in one of the isles in the theater to see if I could get Holly to sign an autograph. As I waited there three women stood by me who were waiting for the rest of their party to leave and those women were Jennifer Jason Leigh, Carroll Kane and Diane Keaton. Jennifer and Carroll kept complaining about how they wanted to go eat, and when I say they complained I mean they complained in a way that would make a sailor blush.
“Where do you want to F’n eat? Where is F’n everyone? I’m F’n hungry!”
And so on…
Well, they finally left, or so I thought.
After Holly mingled on stage for a while with the other actors she finally came through the isle, Now, the isle was still really dark, the lighting in the theater was vary low lighting. I stopped Holly as she walked by and asked for her autograph.
She said “Sure man! I said “ The play was great” She said “Thanks man!”
Well at that point I thought I was in heaven,
and then in seconds it turn to crap..lol
As I walked out of the theater into the lobby I went down a short hallway.
I was all alone walking down this hallway until someone came around the corner in front of me. It was Holly! I thought to my self, Wow! Just me and her all alone in this hallway,
All of these thoughts were in my head, what should I say? This is my opportunity to say something cleaver!
As she approached me about two feet in front of me she Stopped Dead in her tracks and did a 180 and took off the other way as fast as she could!
I thought to my self “What the Hell was that all about?”
Well I thought I am 6’2 200 lbs maybe I was just a little intimidating.
I came around the corner to the open lobby and there she was standing in a circle of other celebrities with her back to me. I approached her and tapped her on her shoulder, she turned and I said how I wanted to congratulate her on winning best actress at the Cannes Film festival for her upcoming movie The Piano.
She turned and said Thanks Man! But it looked like she and everyone else was holding back from laughing at me!
At this moment I started to feel like I was in an episode of Seinfeld.
I then decided to leave and as I exited the building there standing right in front of the entrance was my car! My 1980 Ford Pinto!
The valet had brought my car up because it was the last non-celebrity car.
He was leaning on my car tossing my keys around and had been waiting for me.
He then says in a really loud voice
“Hey Mr. Pinto Man!”
I then turn and look to my right and waiting for their limo was Jennifer Jason Leigh, Carroll Kane and Diane Keaton! Carroll turned away and started to laugh and then they all started laughing!
I climb into my Pinto feeling like a lump of crap not understanding what the hell just happened. All of the drive home I could not figure out what was up with Holly and her friends.
As I got home I went to go unlock my front door and as I look down there it was!
The reason why everyone was laughing at me.
Through the entire evening as I was gathering autographs I had been using a Montblanc pen, it’s a roller ball type of pen and I had not put the cap on it all night.
You see where this is going?
When I looked down at my White Shirt, Yes White! I had a 9” Ink circle all around my pocket where my pen had been all night! 9 F’n inches!
As I sat on my couch thinking of the night and replaying everything in my head I could not stop thinking that Holly and the rest of the celebrities there thought I was some freak!
Mr. Pinto Man with Ink all over his F'n shirt
I had a small crush on Holly Hunter going back to "Raising Arizona" I am 48 now and was 29 the night this happen.
It started one night when I was watching the Arsenio Hall show in 1993 and Holly was on there promoting a play she was doing in Hollywood. I cant remember the name of the play at this moment but it was playing at a really, really small theater called the Met.
It was a 99 seat playhouse, so small the front row of seats are on the stage.
I went down to the Met the next day to buy a ticket and was surprised not only how small the theater was but that it was off this side street with no parking lot and in kind of a bad part of the town.
When I bought my ticket I was surprised that there was some tickets available for the closing night, so I was thrilled to get one for the last night of the play.
When it came time to go to the play and not wanting to drive my brand new pickup truck to that part of town I had ask my mother if I could borrow her car.
BIG Mistake!
She drove a 1980 Ford Pinto!
As I pulled up to the theater not knowing where I was going to park since there was no parking lot, I was then shocked to see they were using Valet parking!
And I had no choice! The valets were parking all the cars down the street on all the side streets. I did feel safe about my car since I was driving a Pinto.
We all entered the playhouse and had to wait in a small lobby until the show was about to start.
While I was waiting I was thrilled to see so many celebrities that were there to see the play. So I proceeded to gather up some autographs (as tacky as that was.)
Remember it was just 99 people to see the play.
I got to mingle with Jennifer Jason Leigh, Marry McDonald, Carroll Kane, Bill Pullman, Eileen Brennan, Diane Keaton, and Philip Baker Hall among others.
While we waited to enter I got to sit with Philip Baker Hall for about 15 minutes and chat, He is a great guy, Philip was just too cool!
When the doors opened for us to take our seats it was first come seating so I took full advantage and rushed to the first row and grab the best seat in the house!
Smack right in the middle of the first row! And like I had said the first row was part of the stage.
Now, the play was a little strange, little violent and little kinky..lol
It only consisted of four players,
Holly Hunter, Bill Pullman, Carroll Kane and I can’t remember the fourth actor.
Holly and Bill played brother and sister. And by the end of the play
everyone dies.
Now, one scene in particular I have to mention because this is where the night started to get little strange for me.
The scene called for Holly to fantasize sexually about her brother (Bill)
I will put this as clean as I can without my post getting deleted..lol
Holly had to lie on her back directly in front of me on stage, and I mean when she laid down on the floor her feet was about a foot and a half away from me.
She was wearing a loose dress and she then pulled up her dress to expose a pair a skin colored panties to make it look like there was no panties, and on the panties was a marker drawn body part to make it look real.
She then proceeded to, lets say…Satisfy her self! Just a foot and half away from ME!
Talk about the Serial Life. How many people get to not only to meet one of their favorite movie stars but also get to watch them do that?
It was WILD! GREAT! But WILD!
Now after the play was over about half the audience left but most of the celebrities stayed around. No one bothered to ask me to leave so I hung around like a fly on the wall.
At first I waited in one of the isles in the theater to see if I could get Holly to sign an autograph. As I waited there three women stood by me who were waiting for the rest of their party to leave and those women were Jennifer Jason Leigh, Carroll Kane and Diane Keaton. Jennifer and Carroll kept complaining about how they wanted to go eat, and when I say they complained I mean they complained in a way that would make a sailor blush.
“Where do you want to F’n eat? Where is F’n everyone? I’m F’n hungry!”
And so on…
Well, they finally left, or so I thought.
After Holly mingled on stage for a while with the other actors she finally came through the isle, Now, the isle was still really dark, the lighting in the theater was vary low lighting. I stopped Holly as she walked by and asked for her autograph.
She said “Sure man! I said “ The play was great” She said “Thanks man!”
Well at that point I thought I was in heaven,
and then in seconds it turn to crap..lol
As I walked out of the theater into the lobby I went down a short hallway.
I was all alone walking down this hallway until someone came around the corner in front of me. It was Holly! I thought to my self, Wow! Just me and her all alone in this hallway,
All of these thoughts were in my head, what should I say? This is my opportunity to say something cleaver!
As she approached me about two feet in front of me she Stopped Dead in her tracks and did a 180 and took off the other way as fast as she could!
I thought to my self “What the Hell was that all about?”
Well I thought I am 6’2 200 lbs maybe I was just a little intimidating.
I came around the corner to the open lobby and there she was standing in a circle of other celebrities with her back to me. I approached her and tapped her on her shoulder, she turned and I said how I wanted to congratulate her on winning best actress at the Cannes Film festival for her upcoming movie The Piano.
She turned and said Thanks Man! But it looked like she and everyone else was holding back from laughing at me!
At this moment I started to feel like I was in an episode of Seinfeld.
I then decided to leave and as I exited the building there standing right in front of the entrance was my car! My 1980 Ford Pinto!
The valet had brought my car up because it was the last non-celebrity car.
He was leaning on my car tossing my keys around and had been waiting for me.
He then says in a really loud voice
“Hey Mr. Pinto Man!”
I then turn and look to my right and waiting for their limo was Jennifer Jason Leigh, Carroll Kane and Diane Keaton! Carroll turned away and started to laugh and then they all started laughing!
I climb into my Pinto feeling like a lump of crap not understanding what the hell just happened. All of the drive home I could not figure out what was up with Holly and her friends.
As I got home I went to go unlock my front door and as I look down there it was!
The reason why everyone was laughing at me.
Through the entire evening as I was gathering autographs I had been using a Montblanc pen, it’s a roller ball type of pen and I had not put the cap on it all night.
You see where this is going?
When I looked down at my White Shirt, Yes White! I had a 9” Ink circle all around my pocket where my pen had been all night! 9 F’n inches!
As I sat on my couch thinking of the night and replaying everything in my head I could not stop thinking that Holly and the rest of the celebrities there thought I was some freak!
Mr. Pinto Man with Ink all over his F'n shirt
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