Please review my first salespage

[dysak]

Hello to all,

I plan to go online with my first businesspart, which is a special webservice.
I think I must not tell you, how important this salespage is to interest visitors and keep them reading and have them take an interested look at my references and samples.

http://webservice.dysak.biz

The Header of the salespage is used as a background picture included in the table, to be able to write text into it which can be read by search engines.

I'm German but the text was proofread and corrected by an american teacher.

I'm very eager to get your feedback.

Kind regards
Renate Schedl

 

[dysak]

What is wrong with my website, that nobody gives any feedback?
Please, I am waiting, I need your advise, feedback or review.

Kind regards
Renate Schedl

 

[Mike]

It has the makings of a marketing site. Backdrop branding, but no favicon, the logo is lacking creativity and the content of the site, although unique, reminds me more of a cheap sales pitch similar to an eBook site.
Unfortunately, eBook sites have a distinct way of presenting themselves, in order to stand apart from their MO, you'll have to create a more unique way.
Your portfolio is non clickable and doesn't show up in a lightbox.
Customer testimonials read more like outdrawn essays rather than short and precise business endorsements.
Last but not least, your pitch in terms of pricing is inconsistent. You're advertising $1499 then $999 and then you switch to €500.
Today's exchange rate:

500.00 EUR = 693.061 USD

In short. It's a valid effort, but a long shot away from a demonstration of a sizable and business credible portfolio.

Schoene Gruesse aus den USA -

M.

Edit/Add on:
The flow of your text and presentation of your own brand, starting with an introduction "Before a month or so ago, I never thought about offering any type of webservice. But creating templates was a kind of hobby of mine,..."
You have just invalidated your business credibility.

Well let me make a little list for you "Well" might work in an audio presentation, but it lacks professional presence in a copy written sales pitch.

The value proposition to ask for an investment of €500 has not been established. Your unique sale proposition is non existent, as there is no unique approach to the subject matter at hand.
Your own CI/CD (Corporate Identity/Corporate Design) needs a serious professional overhaul.

The reason for a relatively "straight shot" review is that you're asking for a serious investment of a potential client, without delivering "the goods" in your own presentation, branding and appearance.

... the text was proofread and corrected by an american teacher.
Seriously?
grafices -> graphics
"Have YOU ever" -> Italicize, never capitalize in a sales text
Download- or Thankyou Page -> Thank you
...etc.
If you paid the English teacher, now is the time to ask for a refund.

Again, i repeat from my previous exit statement: In short. It's a valid effort for a hobby designer, but a long shot away from a demonstration of a sizable and business credible portfolio.

M.

 

[dysak]

Hi Mike
Thank you very much for your review. I think I did not completely understand everything. Since I saw your greetings from USA, do you speak German too?

Will send a private message to you, because I have some questions and hope you can answer them.

Since I read your review, there are many thoughts and I became quite unsure.
Thanks again and kind regards
Renate

 

[danBoT]

To many images for an effective sales page you nee to get right to the point

 

[weblord]

Since Mike already did an exhaustive review on it, i will focus on the first impression. first impression for me is like it's a template ive seen so many layouts like that, like long text, and then an order button on top.
it's way too common for me.
1. shouting header on top
2. endorsement from owner starting from "from the desk of.." it's already abused i guess.
3. features/benefits list
4. portfolio
5. testimonials
6. order button
to me it caters to newbies.