Needed someone to talk to... so I came here.

[Humdizzy]

I know this thread is long, but if you want to get straight to the point, just go to paragraph 3.

Weellll, I'll start off by saying I'm a hypochondriac. I am celibate (for life) for the reason that I am terrified of catching something. I wont even kiss people. For 4 years I thought I had lung cancer for no reason and those worries were put to rest by me living for 4 years (:lol and me going to the doctor about 8 times, including to a neurologist without any diagnosis.

Well now something else has been beating me up mentally and it all started November 6th which was a monday 1st period in gym (this is how paranoid I am that I actually wrote down the dates and times). This kid who (I think may have mental issues) goes around doing something for the sole purpose to piss people off. The things he does are pretty bad and he does these things for no reason. For one, he took scissors and started cutting up someone's backpack.

What he did to me has left me with frequent paranoia and anxiety for the last 71 days. He walks up to me and for no reason, rubs his bloody cut on my cheek. I immediately freak out and run to the bathroom. I scrub and scrub my face for about 45 minutes. Then I get home and this cycle of scrubbing continues for the rest of November.

It is now 71 days later and I am still paranoid and bombarded by commercials about HIV and AIDS and questioning whether I caught something from him doing this. Today I receive a letter about student term life insurance and I'm only 16, which of course asks health questions including the question have I been diagnosed with AIDS or HIV in the last 5 years. I was just beginning to sort of ease up on my paranoia and then this comes in the mail and I'm back to the way I started.

I've talked to many people in my life, mostly friends and even my bio teacher asking if I would be okay and they all reassured me that I would be okay because my skin was intact and that skin is a good barrier against that disease. These reassurances still haven't calmed my fears. The last thing I want to do is bring it up to my parents because the first thing they would do is go after the kid who did it and it would be this whole big mess that would basically make me look bad by telling my parents about something that's not a big deal to anyone else. Plus, I don't want to get the kid in trouble, because that would just get him expelled and I already forgive him for the act. I'm just paranoid about my health right now and I want anyone to get in trouble.

I know there is a 90 day mark till the point that your body builds up a defense system against the disease and the antibodies can be detected, so a test wouldn't do me any good now. And even when I reach the 90 day mark I don't know how I would be able to get tested (I wont dare go to a clinic with all the stories I hear about mixing up results). I would feel good with a rapid test that uses saliva or urine, but I don't know where I could purchase one in store (I already looked through a couple drug stores). My doctor would be my best bet, but I don't know how I would get to see her when there is nothing wrong with me. I could wait for my next check up, but I just need some ease of mind right now, because this thing is really taking a toll on my mind and messing me up in school. Someone just say something. I don't know. I just need someone I can talk to or something.

 

[Mark]

Dude , You can't Enjoy life like this .... We all have to take "some" risks in life. I know someone rubbing their blood on your face wasn't a planned risk - But It happened and more than likely you are 100% fine.

You probably need to talk to someone professional though IMO

 

[Matthew.]

Humdizzy, i have my own problems that cause me to worry/be paranoid/lack of self esteem etc I'm sure you know so i wont bore you so i have a lot of advice to give , especially to do with those bullying (yes, bullying) you such as that child.

Please don't consider me insensitive here but i really can't write a solid post to help you, i have exams this week and am very behind with work - as it is now i wont have time to complete it all so i can't take time out, however...

My doctor would be my best bet, but I don't know how I would get to see her when there is nothing wrong with me

Your doctor, or any doctor is not just there to see you when you are ill. They are there any time for advice, help or just a good talking to. They will understand your concerns and will have more advice than most of us.

p.s. Don't keep justifying your need to talk or in this case post, expressing yourself in any way like this does help, it's why you are doing it and i know only too well from experience.

edit:

You probably need to talk to someone professional though IMO

Haha, put it blunt Mark. It is a good suggestion though, you aren't the only one by far going through this and there are others you can talk to via groups or just find a (do i dare say shrink?) person to talk to whether that be professionally trained or not.

 

[Humdizzy]

Your doctor, or any doctor is not just there to see you when you are ill. They are there any time for advice, help or just a good talking to. They will understand your concerns and will have more advice than most of us.

Oh noo I mean my mother wont make an appointment if there is no reason to and I don't want to just go, mom I want to go to the doctor and then say no reason when she asks why. My doctor used to be within walking distance, but she moved her offices about 25 miles away. I know she'd be just fine talking to me. She knows my history of paranoia.

And yes, making this thread does help me.

 

[Matthew.]

Oh noo I mean my mother wont make an appointment if there is no reason to and I don't want to just go, mom I want to go to the doctor and then say no reason when she asks why. My doctor used to be within walking distance, but she moved her offices about 25 miles away. I know she'd be just fine talking to me. She knows my history of paranoia.

And yes, making this thread does help me.

:hehe: I am trying to find a way to put it lightly. You do not need your parents permission to go to the doctors, you can go at any time on your own.

Home -> Bus -> Doctors -> Bus -> Home

I know it's not that simple but if you think that's what you want to do then really what's the worst that can happen. (p.s. i am someone who can give advice but not take it - i have never done this to my frustration )

It most likely won't help but the changes of you catching anything from the blood is borderline 0.

1. The person would have to be infected/be a carrier or a disease such as HIV (statistically unlikely - regardless of the media)

2. You would have to have a break in the skin to stand any chance of the blood entering your blood stream.

Getting someone else's blood on your is nothing to worry about generally.

edit: Right, just re-read your post.

Tell your parents, seriously. Forget about this kid, if your parents want to "go after him" then bigger fool them, kids (we) will be kids and do things like this, it's human nature.

Your parents know presumably how much you worry about things like this so they will understand and if nothing else will be another reassuring voice.

 

[Broker]

Go to amazon and buy the book "The power of now" by Eckhart Tolle.

You will be amazed I promise!

 

[-db-]

1. The person would have to be infected/be a carrier or a disease such as HIV .

Humdizzy, read that a few times and let it sink in...

I know a little about panic attacks, hypochondria, obsessive-compulsive and other related issues, because I have family members who suffer from them, and it's often the most basic facts and simple logic that gets thru, and helps to calm you down in these situations.

So just keep in mind - A) You don't have any particular reason to fear the kid was HIV positive in the first place. B) Then, you've got your skin that acted as a barrier against the blood getting into your system. C) Furthermore, the virus doesn't survive long once it hits the open air, so even dried blood that happened to come from an infected person (which he probably wasn't anyway) will not hurt you.

I'm working on 14 different things right now, or I would post a longer reply, but I will look in on the thread again later tonight. Try to relax and think about what everyone has told you.

 

[labrocca]

You need psychiatric help and I advise you seek it out immediately. There are drugs that can help you. I take prozac and man it's changed my life completely.

I think you are OCD personally or possibly paranoid schiztophrenic. You need to get diagnosed and treatment. You fear a physical disease but in reality you have a mental one.

Don't fear seeking help for this problem...it doesn't seem you fear seeking out doctors for your ailments so don't fear this either. A phsycologist may open your eyes and change your life.

 

[Travis]

Even if the kid had HIV/Aids, you would still be fine as long as your face didn't have an open wound at which the blood could transfer into your system.

 

[jargenhunter]

Humdizzy take a breath. From all that you have said I think its pretty much a given that you wont be completely satisfied until you are tested even though your chances of getting a disease from that is basically non-existent. I agree with Matthew, a bus can take you to the doctors easily without alerting your parents. If you are still nervous about that, try finding a testing site using http://www.hivtest.org/ or you can order a test online if you cannot find one in the drug store.

Best wishes~

 

[homebuyer]

Layman's advice

He may have committed both a civil and criminal battery against you. You are not paranoid to find it offensive to be touched by someone else's bloody body part. Report it to the police, the principal (in writing), and then visit both of the following web pages. Read them in their entirety.

http://www.nycbar.org/LRS/index.htm
http://www.nycbar.org/CityBarFund/SHIELD.htm

If you fail to follow my advice, then don't complain about it later on .

 

[Kenny]

Keenen,
You don’t have HIV. You are not infected. Order the test online and prove it to yourself. While you are waiting, please keep in mind the facts about how and what it takes to contract HIV. There has never been a reported case of infection from skin contact. Never. I looked. You can look too.

I would hope you have already attended some counseling concerning your phobias, and if not, you should. You are not mentally ill. You do not need to be medicated at 16. You have a phobia, we all have our fears. How much we allow these fears to infiltrate our daily lives is the difference.

So, if you are not seeing a therapist or haven’t seen one yet, it is a good idea to do so. Mostly it will help you understand the why part, and that you are not that much different from anyone else.
Bottom line bro, there is good reason to be careful about catching something. It is a dangerous, dirty world. But don’t let it control your life.

Now go research a new domain, or set up a new site... get busy.

oh and that was funny, "and those worries were put to rest by me living for 4 years". Yup, I guess you showed them.

Peace,
Cyberian

 

[WiiSaid]

Man you don't need to worry about everything I used to be this way when I was 12 now I am 14 and I don't really worry about anything. Just think about what your doing to yourself and then cross all that stuff out and do the opposite. Life has to have challenges or it would be boring.

 

[briman1970]

Call your family doctor's office and give them your info. Tell them you have insurance through your parents and you should be on file there. Then tell them you would like to have your doctor call you back about a possible HIV infection. If they ask you any questions, tell them that it's a personal matter and you would like the doctor to call you ASAP. I think you will find that the doctor will be on the phone with you within the hour, for free. Tell the doctor not to discuss this issue with your parents and then unload everything you said in your thread, especially your worries and fears.

Ask your doctor to suggest a good psychiatrist. You either have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or some type of extreme phobia. My sister has OCD and I had the same problems you are having when I was 7-9 years old. We can't help you with these problems... you need to talk to a professional to try to speed up the process of getting better or growing out of it.

Good luck and God bless!

 

[Humdizzy]

Actually this thread helped a lot. I feel a lot better. I think I've finally gotten it through my head that you can't be infected through intact skin. Thanks so much guys. I'm just hoping this is lasting and that my worries wont come back. But right now I feel okay.

 

[user-7256]

Humdizzy: Hypochondria is a similar to OCD and germaphobia. I have OCD - everybody does, at different levels - and mine is more of a germaphobia one. Others I have include wanting my clothes even, etc.

People make fun of me because when we watched movies in class, I'd squirm if a couple started kissing, or if I saw it in the hallways, or I'd say "ew" if it came up in conversation. They STILL think I'm weird. I keep telling people I'd never kiss somebody, and I honestly don't care to. (With my luck though, it'd be no problem keeping to that!)

So I can relate to you.

The human body is well protected against disease and illness. In fact, the more moderated exposure your body gets to "germs", the more powerful it is to combat it in the future.

I often don't shake hands (in informal situations) or give high-fives... or hugs or pat-on-the-backs... but my biggest worry is skin-to-skin (hand-to-hand, often) contact. Not necessarily because I'm afraid of my own health, but the health of others. I'm often fortunate enough to not get flu-like-sick very easily, but I can catch a cold easily. Others aren't so lucky. It's just a small obsession I have (and it bothers and offends some people), but I'm learning to overcome and adapt to it.

All I'm trying to say is, you can work it out yourself. You don't need therapy. I disagree with labrocca's statement that you need to seek psychiatric help. Many people will tell you - including the media and modern advertising - that everything is wrong with you, and you need medication or some sort of "help".

In reality, that is all just for some medicine companies to make some $$. They try to label each human inequality as a "disorder" that you need help with right away to instantly improve your life.

I can relate to your situation a little more: A kid used to sit next to me back when I rode the bus, who had Diabetes. He took insulin shots and I asked him if it was contagious. Even though he said it wasn't, I was still nervous if he coughed or something, and would find myself washing my hands. Now, I realize that it's ridiculous to think such a thing.

And while AIDS/HIV is different, that blood/virus would somehow need to get INTO your bloodstream or other body fluid somehow, and just being rubbed on your cheek won't do that too easily, especially after all that washing.

So, man, it's okay to be a little on the safe side. It's okay to not be entirely informed about everything, and you DON'T NEED MEDICATION for everything that may seem wrong with you.

Society wants to label you as imperfect to the point that you need pro help. You really don't.

I wish I had caught this thread sooner; I think some of these people almost might be scaring you....

If you ever need anything, PM or IM me

 

[dnb8]

I think that You don't have any paranoia, phobia or OCD.
My sister is a psychologist and I know that if people are making not this what they should to do in their lives, they can have signs of these diseases.

Spending to long hours in front of computer, lack of friends - this can cause problems like this.

Do what your heart tells you and everything will be ok.

Also I think that there is only small chance that you have been infected by this kid, so make this HIV tests only to make sure that you are negative

 

[B33R]

This thread is great! Like a big ol' NP support group.

I have paranoia sometimes, comes and goes with my constant depression, along with numerous other things. I get paranoid people are watching me. Anyhoo, I don't feel like talking about it any more today. Today I'm angry, not depressed.

Don't worry about it Keenen, just focus on getting on with your life. That's what I do with my depression and I ain't dead yet! :tu:

 

[Michelle]

Hugs my friend

Im not going to repeat facts above.. you know already you are ok

What I will say is first congrats ..its a big thing admitting there is a problem and sharing WILL help .. with us .. your family... doctor etc etc...

You need to look at the wider picture than what happened with this other person as unless you address your fears, something else will happen that will worry you again and again.

If you found talking to us lots helpful think what you could gain by talking to someone whom was trained to help :tu:

There is a whole big wide world out there to explore and enjoy.. dont let those fears you have rob you of having a wonderful life and enjoying others company which is so very very special...

Good luck my friend and keep on posting whenever you need to

 

[antman]

Just remember that there are ads out there [and TV shows] that will scare you for something you shouldn't be scared of. (Probably subliminal messaging to buy something) It's meant to make you aware, but not scare the wits out of you. I'm glad to see that you're better now - there is nothing to be afraid of

I've got some friends which are paranoid over the smallest things (I'm a hygiene freak sometimes too), but talking them through it, they just move on. If I was you, I would talk to a teacher about that kid. He certainly has some problem and he needs the assistance.

Enjoy life! :tu: