English... 5-year plan.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the European
Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-th year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in
the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the European
Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-th year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in
the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
!
