HHAHAHAHAHA Funny Domain name contest.

[slipondajimmy]

OK so I have this domain name humorpalace.net reg at enom till 3/14/2006

And I decided im not going to mess with development. So im going to have a contest, Giveaway, trade or whatever. I am looking for something interesting these may include the following

Your first born child
a funny joke
got a trade?
Im a maritime buff. Got anything maritime related?
You have a picture you have created that will just have me cracking up for a week?

I might not want any pysical items. It could be just the best post I see or whatever . Lets be creative and have fun ...LOL

Post your best here.

 

[Eric]

Joke:

102 USES FOR AN AOL DISKETTE

1. Mini cutting board (great for the office or the car, use metal door for knife).
2. Attach it to a ruler and presto! - youve got a fly swatter.
3. Construct a life size replica of Stonehenge.
4. At a restaurant, shove one under a wobbling table leg.
5. Money clip (use the metal door and discard the plastic case...the "rich nerd" look
is IN this year).
6. Eye patch (for one-eyed software pirates).
7. Christmas ornaments (the more the merrier).
8. Give them to young children to use as building blocks.
9. Glue them to the bottom of the space shuttle and use them as re-entry burn tiles.
10. Dentures (melt & form them into new teeth for grandma).
11. Room dividers for hamsters.
12. Drink coasters.
13. Use multiple disks to create an ideal door stopper.
14. Ice scraper.
15. Bathroom tile.
16. Bookmark.
17. Mini Frisbee.
18. Air hockey puck.
19. Dog chew toy.
20. Dart board.
21. Pooper scooper.
22. Grill scraper.
23. Use them for karate board-breaking demonstrations (save a tree).
24. Wrist slicer - after receiving first AOL bill (use metal door).
25. Conversation piece for coffee table.
26. Destroy them - smash, burn, or run over to relieve stress.
27. Light switch cover.
28. Chinese throwing stars (tape 2 together).
29. Clay pigeons for target practice.
30. Greeting card (bind two together at one end).
31. Halloween treat (give them away all night long).
32. Bullet proof vest (arrange together in triple thickness).
33. Firewood.
34. Bird house.
35. Paper weights.
36. Pen holders (make a box without a top).
37. Post it-notes holder.
38. Refrigerator magnet (glue a magnet to the back).
39. A very sturdy base for putting the motorcycle sidestand on when parking on soft
surfaces.
40. Keep em in the trunk for extra traction in the snow.
41. Solar Eclipse Glasses (open door and look through disk at the
sun/moon--actually works).
42. Placing one in each back pocket helps children who get paddled by the coach.
(This spreads the force to a wider area.)
43. Make an AOL disk & pasta casserole.
44. Incense burners (put stick in hole of disk hub and light the incense.
45. Bug Shield (glue a bunch to the front of your cars hood).
46. Put them on car windshields at the mall (along with this list).
47. Melt the plastic of the disks into a giant sculpture.
48. Hand them out as party favors.
49. Hidden/spare key holder (crack open 1 side, insert key and then place near door.
Completely safe...who would want an AOL disk?)
50. Vertical blinds.
51. Be an AOL diskette surgeon and dissect a diskette.
52. Bench press weights (I can press 120).
53. Grind em up and refertilize the front lawn.
54. The new "Dominos stuffed-crust pizza" filling.
55. Tell the kids to leave warm milk & AOL disks for Santa.
56. Brake shoes.
57. House insulation.
58. Recycle them for the scrap metal.
59. Kitchen tile for Bill Gates new mansion in Seattle (walk all over the competition)
60. Hockey Puck.
61. Add water and special plant life to make a Chia-Disk.
62. Noise maker for your bike spokes (why damage your valuable baseball cards).
63. Put one on a leash and drag it along as you walk...makes the perfect pet.
64. Poker chips.
65. Baseball practice (throw them up in the air and hit them with the bat).
66. Keychain (Put a key ring through one of the writeprotect holes and youve got a
snappy executive bathroom Keychain for the office).
67. Mail to 10 friends-start an AOL chain-letter (add a disk with each link).
68. Earmuffs (glue some fur on one side, then attach a U-shaped piece of bent
coathanger to both disks).
69. Grind them up to make fake snow.
70. Earrings (put loop into write-protect hole).
71. Dental floss (use actual disk).
72. Use them for zipper pulls (instead of ski lift tickets).
73. When your collection of disks reaches 52, use them for a deck of cards.
74. Use them to fill potholes.
75. Hood ornament.
76. Snow blower replacement blades.
77. Put them in your shirt pocket to make you look smart.
78. Make two stacks of 10 and use them as heels for platform shoes.
79. Rubiks cube case (make into box).
80. Shipping material (keeps your photos from being bent in the mail).
81. Protect your table from burns caused by hot pots and pans.
82. Snack trays (great for holding hors doeuvres at parties).
83. Give them as stocking stuffers to all those people who piss you off.
84. Fly paper (use actual disk and put string through middle, hang 2" apart and apply
honey to disks).
85. Pocket protector (gee Dilbert I really like your new pocket protector).
86. They make a *dandy* addition to a #$*+&% neighbors back yard. Better yet, get
them to actually install it on their computer.
87. Use them as elbow and knee pads.
88. Wax scraper for snowboards.
89. Use them to decorate your aquarium and create Computer City under water.
90. Tape a few together and use them as a mouse pad.
91. Collect a large mass and detonate a supernova.
92. A wind clacker (similar to a wind chime).
93. Soap dish (remove metal to prevent rusting).
94. Row markers for your vegetable garden. (carrots, beans, peas....)
95. Makes the perfect dance floor for your ant colony.
96. Bread roller (use actual disks and put rod through center-use about 100).
97. Hot glue gun resting/protecting pad.
98. Baby mobile.
99. Fence (may need a few thousand).
100. Toe tags for mortuaries. Great for identifying dead computer nerds.
101. Wonderbra inserts for that Madonna-techno look.
102. Use it to join AOL (What you get a busy signal, oh well try again later)

 

[slipondajimmy]

Good way to start man

 

[slipondajimmy]

I cant belive there is nobody out there that wants to get in on this. This is great to get a free name . come on people

 

[¤.Linchausen.¤]

Knock knock.
Who's there
Dozen!
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to play with me?

 

[snoopi]

Not sure about the correct meaning of maritime but I think this pic is someway-somehow related... :lol:

 

[Stephen]

Okay - a joke.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.

Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderlymother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third said, "You remember how Mom enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So, I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him, he's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks....

"Milton," she said, "the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He's a pain!"

"And my dearest, Donald," she said, "the chicken was delicious!"

 

[Eric]

Look what I found...

 

[slipondajimmy]

Maritime is Ocean ships and related stuff for anyone who dont know. Keep them coming. ...lol Im started to get some laughs...haaha

 

[Coastalguy]

A little joke for ya:


A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on

the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 12 inches

high, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls

out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.

He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench.

The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a

beautiful Piece by Mozart.

"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a

magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it."

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a

beautiful genie is standing before him.

"I will grant you one wish - just one."

The bartender gets real excited.Without hesitating he says, "I want a

million bucks!"

A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. Another duck, then another

soon follow it. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they

keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a

little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

"Tell me about it!!" says the man, "do you really think I

asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

:hehe:

Hope this is appropriate for this thread.

ST

 

[snoopi]

Maritime is Ocean ships and related stuff for anyone who dont know. Keep them coming. ...lol Im started to get some laughs...haaha

Oh I see... Thanks for the info :tu: What about this then?

One day, a pirate ship is cruising the seas off the coast of England when the scout yells, "There's a English ship on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, who valiantly says, "Bring me my red shirt." The captain dons the shirt and the British ship commences the attack. The captain and his men fight valiantly and crush the British attackers.

A few days later, the scout yells, "There are three English ships on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, and again he says (in his most manly voice), "Bring me my red shirt."
Again, the English ships begin their attack and the pirates fight off all three of the attacking ships. After the battle is over, one of the mates sheepishly approaches the captain and asks, "Sir, why do you keep asking for your red shirt?"

The captain replies, "I ask for the red shirt so if I am injured in battle, you will not see my blood, and will continue to fight."

The crew is in awe with these words.
The following week, the scout yells, "There are ten English ships on the horizon." The crew again looks to the captain, waiting for him to ask for his red shirt. He is silent for a moment and then says, "Bring me my brown pants."

:lol: :yell: :yell: :yell: :hehe:

 

[vip-ip]

Trade you for steetkorner.net
Plus, here's a joke:

A programmer had three sons:
Untitled-1, Untitled-2, Untitled-3...

http://fullfile.com/gay.swf?namee=Donnie

 

[slipondajimmy]

I will be choosing a winner tommorow afternoon. Keep them comming

 

[.X.]

Not sure about the correct meaning of maritime but I think this pic is someway-somehow related... :lol:

:lol: Good Gosh look at that mules face in that .jpg snoopi posted! Poor fella :lol:

 

[slipondajimmy]

OK well I will have to go with snoopi on this one. The joke was great but damn that picture is great..hahahahah PLease PM me with your enom name and I will push the domain.

Thank you all .

 

[snoopi]

Domain received! Thank you slipondajimmy! :tu: