Funny One Liners

[suthra]

Type the One liners you love(jokes or humorous quotes or anything)

TO start with:

"No man is complete until marriage , after that he is finished" einstein

"I hear that exercise kills germs. But how do you get the little buggers to exercise?"

"Behind every successful man there is a woman, behind her will be his wife" unknown.

 

[Kodeking]

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." -Bertrand Russell

 

[armstrong]

"Hit a man while he is down." - old chess proverb

 

[suthra]

Latest Quotes
I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75 so it's no distance.
-- Bob Monkhouse

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.
-- Bob Monkhouse

I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75 so it's no distance.
-- Bob Monkhouse

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.
-- Bob Monkhouse

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
-- Jack Benny

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
-- Monica Piper

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
-- Emo Philips

"I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me. "

 

[Grrilla]

"The secret of being creative is to hide your sources"- A. Einstein :gl: