Joke time

[LeeRyder]

found a bunch of new jokes, thought this one was pretty damned funny.

One day Little Susie got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Johnny.

Having found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was.

Johnny's face grew serious and he said, "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

and another

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that She is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

the waiting room

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the nurse to his wife's room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife had just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do you like that, I work for the 3M company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued,"I work for 7-UP."

 

[ThreeD]

lol thanks for the good laugh loved them all..

 

[LeeRyder]

for the Irish (like me :P)

Whats the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Stones say Hey you get off my cloud, while the Scot says Hey Mcloud get off my ewe!

Grandparents are the best:

An older feller and his grandson were out hunting nightcrawlers for fishing the next day. They'd caught quite a few, when the old guy said to his grand son" Hey Ill bet you ten dollars that you can't put that worm back down the hole. The kid thoughta bit, ran into the house, came back with a can of spray starch. Shhhhhhp down the length of the worm ans swish back into the hole! Grandpa says pretty good there kid, but I'll have to pay you tomorrow. Next day he hands the boy a twenty. But Grandpa the bet was for ten! Yeah, he replied, the other tens from your grandma.

 

[GJ]

Lol, Classic!

 

[Gene]

An older feller and his grandson were out hunting nightcrawlers for fishing the next day. They'd caught quite a few, when the old guy said to his grand son" Hey Ill bet you ten dollars that you can't put that worm back down the hole. The kid thoughta bit, ran into the house, came back with a can of spray starch. Shhhhhhp down the length of the worm ans swish back into the hole! Grandpa says pretty good there kid, but I'll have to pay you tomorrow. Next day he hands the boy a twenty. But Grandpa the bet was for ten! Yeah, he replied, the other tens from your grandma.

I had to think about that one for a bit. LOL! Love it

 

[LeeRyder]

After much arguing and deliberation, historians this week have come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton Era.
It will be called: SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES.

The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced that Clinton has
proven that you can get sex from Aides.

Gennifer Flowers was asked if her relationship with Clinton was
anything like Monica Lewinski's. She replied, "Close,but no cigar."

The FBI has coined a technical term for the stains found on Monica's
dress: "Presidue."

Clinton now recruits interns from only four colleges: Moorhead, Oral Roberts, Ball State and Bringham Young.

Did you know that Clinton had asked to change the Democratic emblem from a donkey to a condom? It represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security.

Arkansas is very proud of Bill Clinton. All these women coming
forward, and not one is his sister!

Finally, Hillary Clinton recently went to a fortuneteller who intoned:
"Prepare to become widow. Your husband will soon suffer a violent
death!"
Hillary took a deep breath and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

 

[komp]

I'm happy with irish jokes as i'm half irish lol.


What happens when a irish man tries to blow up a car?

He burns he mouth on the exhaust.


-------------------------------------
What do you do if a irishman throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin out a throw it back.
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How do you sink a irish submarine?

Knock on the door.

 

[spy69]

lol

 

[mustang394]

:lol: funny! :D

 

[StudioWorks]

:lol: :lol: Nice ones! Thans guys!

- DM

 

[Sabre]

:lol:

Nice ones Lee and komp ^,^

 

[Petter]

A few good ones there! :lol: Thanks for the share! :D

 

[komp]

-Paddy and Murphy were walking down a road one day, Paddy said, Murphy, can you see that beautiful wood over there Murphy, I can't see, theirs trees in the way!

-What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ got in common?
The both lived with their mother until they were 33 and neither had a job.

- Why shouldn't you take the micky out of lepricorns.
Its not big and its not clever.

 

[LeeRyder]

lol, but that last one makes no sense :S