United States
You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. You go into real estate.
You have two cows. You sell one, and give the other one drugs until it can produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
Brazilian :
You have two cows. You milk them, and try to sell the milk to the Americans. You can't, and blame the protectionist policies of the US, Canada, and Europe. The government then creates the Cow Tax. You have to sell one of your cows to pay for it.
A Brazilian corporate :
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1,000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy
Hong Kong
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
Italian
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. When you come back from lunch, the TV and the Press (which you own) are announcing that the two cows have reproduced to become 2,000 cows during lunch. You and your brand-new colleague, Rino "Chi-Chi the cat-buggerer" Torricelli (a respected Sicilian businessman with an international pharmaceutical empire) now qualify for a huge EEC grant. You still don't know where the cows are.
Japanese
You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoons called Kaukimon and market them world-wide. The cows learn to bow to each other.
Chinese Corporate:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
Indian
You have two cows. You use one for its milk and worship the other one.
Somalia
You wish you had two cows to eat.
Dictatorship
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Clintonism:
You have two cows. One cow files a case against clinton for cow abuse. You wonder how?
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Hinduism
You have two cows. You worship them.
Nazism:
You have two cows. You kill the one with the big nose.
You have two cows. When it is realized that cows do not have a nation, and represent an inferior race of leeches, they are gassed. You are drafted to work on the autobahn.
You have two cows. The govenment shoots you and keeps the cows.
United Kingdom:
You have 2 cows., The british government offers trade with you, later kill you , and steal the 2 cows from you and pretend as innocent.
Spammism
You have two cows. You send 100 millions of emails inviting volunteers to meet you in a dubious African airport and take care of the cows because you cannot get them out of the country yourself. In exchange, the volunteer will be given a USD 100,000,000 reward. All he needs to do is to send you his bank account number and ID beforehand. You receive 5,000 replies and get rich. You keep wondering how it comes people still get tricked... and you send another 100 millions "invitations".
Alcoholism
You have two cows, but you see four.
You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. You go into real estate.
You have two cows. You sell one, and give the other one drugs until it can produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
Brazilian :
You have two cows. You milk them, and try to sell the milk to the Americans. You can't, and blame the protectionist policies of the US, Canada, and Europe. The government then creates the Cow Tax. You have to sell one of your cows to pay for it.
A Brazilian corporate :
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1,000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy
Hong Kong
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
Italian
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. When you come back from lunch, the TV and the Press (which you own) are announcing that the two cows have reproduced to become 2,000 cows during lunch. You and your brand-new colleague, Rino "Chi-Chi the cat-buggerer" Torricelli (a respected Sicilian businessman with an international pharmaceutical empire) now qualify for a huge EEC grant. You still don't know where the cows are.
Japanese
You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoons called Kaukimon and market them world-wide. The cows learn to bow to each other.
Chinese Corporate:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
Indian
You have two cows. You use one for its milk and worship the other one.
Somalia
You wish you had two cows to eat.
Dictatorship
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Clintonism:
You have two cows. One cow files a case against clinton for cow abuse. You wonder how?
Google :
C o o w >
Result page: 1 2 Next
Hinduism
You have two cows. You worship them.
Nazism:
You have two cows. You kill the one with the big nose.
You have two cows. When it is realized that cows do not have a nation, and represent an inferior race of leeches, they are gassed. You are drafted to work on the autobahn.
You have two cows. The govenment shoots you and keeps the cows.
United Kingdom:
You have 2 cows., The british government offers trade with you, later kill you , and steal the 2 cows from you and pretend as innocent.
Spammism
You have two cows. You send 100 millions of emails inviting volunteers to meet you in a dubious African airport and take care of the cows because you cannot get them out of the country yourself. In exchange, the volunteer will be given a USD 100,000,000 reward. All he needs to do is to send you his bank account number and ID beforehand. You receive 5,000 replies and get rich. You keep wondering how it comes people still get tricked... and you send another 100 millions "invitations".
Alcoholism
You have two cows, but you see four.
