Beware of PHP!

[PolurNET]

Student Suspended Over
Suspected Use of PHP
By Brian Briggs


Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

:lol: it cracked me up :p

 

[bensontwenty]

excellent story - and you could see how some non computer users could get worried about it :lol:

 

[redhippo]

i am definetly going to the police to report this Anand guy! he is getting high on NP and I heard he is into buying and selling NP on the net...definetly sommething fishy going on

 

[PolurNET]

i am definetly going to the police to report this Anand guy! he is getting high on NP and I heard he is into buying and selling NP on the net...definetly sommething fishy going on

:hehe: where'd you get that info :p My NP always stays with me.... muhaahaha!! :lol: Now give me some NP if you liked this joke... or else...

 

[Terry]

Great stuff. The post and PHP.

 

[matrics]

LOL, I thought the first one was for real until I was about halfway into it... good laugh

 

[Mystic]

*takes some php*

:p i just been using php, damn im addicted to it hahaha, that was funny lol