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donlee
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Guest
18 quick facts about MARK
We all know MARK the NP admin, but here are some quick facts i bet you did not know about him and just had bad a$$ of a guy he really is.
1. MARK can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures MARK allows to live.
3. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects MARK could use to kill you, including the room itself.
4. MARK has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and MARK ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
5. MARK is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
6. MARK coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
7. MARK once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Fish" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
8. MARK is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
9. MARK can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
10. If you were to lock MARK in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this MARK replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
You are what you eat. That is why MARKS diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small sheep.
11. When MARK runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
12. It takes 14 muppets to make MARK smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an post office.
13. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by MARK, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
14. MARK can divide by zero.
15. MARK is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
16. MARK can take one oxygen molecule and split it into 6 hydrogen atoms, 5 oxygen atoms, and a beer.
17. Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of MARK. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for wusses!" at the Acrtic researchers.
18. When MARK jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets MARKED instead.
SO next time you think of messing with MARK think again i beg of you.
We all know MARK the NP admin, but here are some quick facts i bet you did not know about him and just had bad a$$ of a guy he really is.
1. MARK can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures MARK allows to live.
3. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects MARK could use to kill you, including the room itself.
4. MARK has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and MARK ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
5. MARK is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
6. MARK coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
7. MARK once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Fish" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
8. MARK is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
9. MARK can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
10. If you were to lock MARK in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this MARK replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
You are what you eat. That is why MARKS diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small sheep.
11. When MARK runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
12. It takes 14 muppets to make MARK smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an post office.
13. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by MARK, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
14. MARK can divide by zero.
15. MARK is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
16. MARK can take one oxygen molecule and split it into 6 hydrogen atoms, 5 oxygen atoms, and a beer.
17. Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of MARK. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for wusses!" at the Acrtic researchers.
18. When MARK jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets MARKED instead.
SO next time you think of messing with MARK think again i beg of you.
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