Am I wrong here?

@Johnywang care to elaborate?

To be honest, yes i think so. It shows unprofessionalism on both parties. You will always have people back out of negotiations. It sucks but thats life, I would of just moved on.


EDIT

The craziest part was that he ended up going through with the deal. Patience is the key in negotiations.

Steven McEvoy said:

To be honest, yes i think so. It shows unprofessionalism on both parties. You will always have people back out of negotiations. It sucks but thats life, I would of just moved on.

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Fair enough. I guess from my point of view, no one should make an offer if they can't back it up. But then again, I should have been a bigger person about it like I have many other times before. I'll own/man up and apologize to the buyer. If everyone thinks I was wrong to go about it like this, then I was.

Hmmm I did see the thread as well and noticed that it was resolved.

I totally understand where you were coming from and what the buyer did was unethical for sure.

I do think however that maybe your reaction was a bit harsh. I mean lets say for instance this was a sale of some other sort of asset... like a car or house, if a buyer shows intent all the way, right up to the point where he has to sign the dotted line or hand over the cash... then he changes his mind....sure it's a douchey thing to do but it happens and it's the name of the game. I don't think estate agents or car dealers react strongly when it happens to them because its part of the game.... I think the same should apply to domaining. As you know I've always been grateful for your input and advice, I have a considerable amount of respect for you as a domainer and as an all round kick @ss person, so my opinion here is totally without malice and just my view on the incident.

deez007 said:

Hmmm I did see the thread as well and noticed that it was resolved.

I totally understand where you were coming from and what the buyer did was unethical for sure.

I do think however that maybe your reaction was a bit harsh. I mean lets say for instance this was a sale of some other sort of asset... like a car or house, if a buyer shows intent all the way, right up to the point where he has to sign the dotted line or hand over the cash... then he changes his mind....sure it's a douchey thing to do but it happens and it's the name of the game. I don't think estate agents or car dealers react strongly when it happens to them because its part of the game.... I think the same should apply to domaining. As you know I've always been grateful for your input and advice, I have a considerable amount of respect for you as a domainer and as an all round kick @ss person, so my opinion here is totally without malice and just my view on the incident.

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Thank you for that. I appreciate your/all views on the matter - because if I'm wrong, I'm happy to admit it.

I've never outed anyone for anything - or even gotten involved in threads of such matter. Even though I've been ripped off, backed out on, and otherwise dealt with certain behaviors. I'm generally a mellow guy, but for some reason this particular instance struck the wrong nerve at the wrong time.

I see that the way I went about it was wrong, and I've apologized to the buyer. And I apologize to fellow NP'ers.

Hmm, this is a close call. Domainers are more 'personal' with each other than in many other industries (meaning everyone knows 'who's who'). But what if, let's say, you were a salesman at a car dealership. A customer comes in late one night and makes a handshake deal to buy a car...and they promise to come back tomorrow with a check. Overnight they have second thoughts and say they no longer want it. Would it be right for the dealership to go on a rant on their facebook page and shame the buyer? That probably wouldn't be considered professional.
On the other hand, I do agree that people shouldn't make deals and agree to them if they aren't willing to go forward. However, what did you lose? Basically just your time...salesman lose time everyday...that's part of the game.

todaygold said:

Hmm, this is a close call. Domainers are more 'personal' with each other than in many other industries (meaning everyone knows 'who's who'). But what if, let's say, you were a salesman at a car dealership. A customer comes in late one night and makes a handshake deal to buy a car...and they promise to come back tomorrow with a check. Overnight they have second thoughts and say they no longer want it. Would it be right for the dealership to go on a rant on their facebook page and shame the buyer? That probably wouldn't be considered professional.
On the other hand, I do agree that people shouldn't make deals and agree to them if they aren't willing to go forward. However, what did you lose? Basically just your time...salesman lose time everyday...that's part of the game.

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Valid points.

I do think our industry is far more intimate though. Especially between investors. That is why we have feedback scores, ratings, and otherwise. We have to be able to trust each others words internally.

Your analogy makes sense, but to that I say - if it were an enduser, it would fit the analogy better, yea?

Again, not trying to justify my actions - as they were wrong.

Zandibot said:

Your analogy makes sense, but to that I say - if it were an enduser, it would fit the analogy better, yea?

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I agree in a sense...that analogy is better suited to an end user. But I'm sure there are dealerships that buy used/junk cars from another dealer or a scrapyard that buys bulk junk cars, etc. where the same analogy could hold true. Even in B2B, deals don't always go through.

todaygold said:

I agree in a sense...that analogy is better suited to an end user. But I'm sure there are dealerships that buy used/junk cars from another dealer or a scrapyard that buys bulk junk cars, etc. where the same analogy could hold true. Even in B2B, deals don't always go through.

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Fair enough. I took it too far.

Zandibot said:

Thank you for that. I appreciate your/all views on the matter - because if I'm wrong, I'm happy to admit it.

I've never outed anyone for anything - or even gotten involved in threads of such matter. Even though I've been ripped off, backed out on, and otherwise dealt with certain behaviors. I'm generally a mellow guy, but for some reason this particular instance struck the wrong nerve at the wrong time.

I see that the way I went about it was wrong, and I've apologized to the buyer. And I apologize to fellow NP'ers.

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To be honest, I was actually a bit surprised by the way you reacted cos it did seem rather out of character for you.

Zandibot said:

Valid points.

I do think our industry is far more intimate though. Especially between investors. That is why we have feedback scores, ratings, and otherwise. We have to be able to trust each others words internally.

Your analogy makes sense, but to that I say - if it were an enduser, it would fit the analogy better, yea?

Again, not trying to justify my actions - as they were wrong.

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Yep, totally agree...that between investors it's definitely more intimate. I actually didn't realize it was an investor, I was under the impression it was an end user who had contacted you about the domain.... the analogy I used is more applicable for an end user scenario... knowing now that the buyer was an investor, makes it a double douchey move from him....

deez007 said:

To be honest, I was actually a bit surprised by the way you reacted cos it did seem rather out of character for you.

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It's totally out of character. And I acted like a d-bag over it. That's why I feel bad and am owning up now. I appreciate your honesty.

Zandibot said:

It's totally out of character. And I acted like a d-bag over it. That's why I feel bad and am owning up now. I appreciate your honesty.

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Lol, we all have moments of weakness and we let the d-bag in us come out... I think the fact that you realized you might have over reacted, felt remorse and then took action to fix the situation shows sound character on your part...so Kudos to you for that

deez007 said:

Lol, we all have moments of weakness and we let the d-bag in us come out... I think the fact that you realized you might have over reacted, felt remorse and then took action to fix the situation shows sound character on your part...so Kudos to you for that

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Thanks bro. I definitely acted like a DoucheBot today.

I don't know the specifics, but people need to realize that deals made on this forum, are made with considerations of quick payment, and without delay.

If you are going to go, back, and forth, and are thrown out a good wholesale offer on a domain, and come back a few days later, and accept, I don't think that is acceptable. It is always good for the selling party to put a time limit on their offer, just to cover themselves.

Again, I don't know the specifics of what happend here, but during the chip hoopla, I did come across many Chinese buyers who were playing the max escrow inspection time, and if they could not flip it, they would kill the deal during the inspection period.

Namepros is about quick cash, quick liquid deals, there is not much room for pondering. Sometimes things change, and these are the consequences of this parties actions.

@ali, I think I have seen you come, and retire from this industry two times in the past year now?

wwwweb said:

I don't know the specifics, but people need to realize that deals made on this forum, are made with considerations of quick payment, and without delay.

If you are going to go, back, and forth, and are thrown out a good wholesale offer on a domain, and come back a few days later, and accept, I don't think that is acceptable. It is always good for the selling party to put a time limit on their offer, just to cover themselves.

Again, I don't know the specifics of what happend here, but during the chip hoopla, I did come across many Chinese buyers who were playing the max escrow inspection time, and if they could not flip it, they would kill the deal during the inspection period.

Namepros is about quick cash, quick liquid deals, there is not much room for pondering. Sometimes things change, and these are the consequences of this parties actions.

@ali, I think I have seen you come, and retire from this industry two times in the past year now?

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Yea I removed the details from the other post.

Life threw me for a loop - I never retired, just needed to get away for a while to deal with personal family circumstances that made it extremely hard to focus on anything work related.

Depends on who it was and how they did it. Have they exhibited similar behaviour in the past?

They're going to be very embarrassed but we, as a community, expect certain values to be upheld. Where expectations differ, conflict arises.

If they were rude or even just unapologetic, that would make me mad. When I reach an agreement, as a buyer or seller, I fully expect the transaction to complete and in a timely manner too.

You've passed up an opportunity to build some goodwill with the buyer but that may be worthless anyway. And there are gonna be people here who will construe this as a 'david vs goliath' kind of situation. Personally, I don't care for theatrics and whether or not you did the right thing would depend on the specifics of your dealings with this person, which I assume your unable/unwilling to disclose.

Zandibot said:

It's totally out of character. And I acted like a d-bag over it. That's why I feel bad and am owning up now. I appreciate your honesty.

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Zandibot said:

Life threw me for a loop - I never retired, just needed to get away for a while to deal with personal family circumstances that made it extremely hard to focus on anything work related.

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I don't think you need to be apologetic about anything.

Someone bailed on an offer they made; it's annoying and unprofessional. If that's how you feel speak your mind.

These 'holier-than-thou' domainers that like to discuss ethics and criticize others actions should hit the bricks. People are very quick to be critical yet 99.9% of those same people haven't given a second of their time to benefit you, when you personally have actually taken a lot of time to benefit the community.

In my experience of your publishings, you are very open and forthcoming about your process. If more people tried to model you rather than judge you they would be in a better position as a domainer.

Glass houses are abundant in domaining, and domainers ALL love to throw rocks, so I don't think you are wrong for throwing a few pebbles Ali.

Wannabean said:

Depends on who it was and how they did it. Have they exhibited similar behaviour in the past?

They're going to be very embarrassed but we, as a community, expect certain values to be upheld. Where expectations differ, conflict arises.

If they were rude or even just unapologetic, that would make me mad. When I reach an agreement, as a buyer or seller, I fully expect the transaction to complete and in a timely manner too.

You've passed up an opportunity to build some goodwill with the buyer but that may be worthless anyway. And there are gonna be people here who will construe this as a 'david vs goliath' kind of situation. Personally, I don't care for theatrics and whether or not you did the right thing would depend on the specifics of your dealings with this person, which I assume your unable/unwilling to disclose.

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I can agree that as a community, we expect certain values to be upheld. To me, it felt crystal clear that there was a deal. How I went about it after, different story.

DomainVP said:

I don't think you need to be apologetic about anything.

Someone bailed on an offer they made; it's annoying and unprofessional. If that's how you feel speak your mind.

These 'holier-than-thou' domainers that like to discuss ethics and criticize others actions should hit the bricks. People are very quick to be critical yet 99.9% of those same people haven't given a second of their time to benefit you, when you personally have actually taken a lot of time to benefit the community.

In my experience of your publishings, you are very open and forthcoming about your process. If more people tried to model you rather than judge you they would be in a better position as a domainer.

Glass houses are abundant in domaining, and domainers ALL love to throw rocks, so I don't think you are wrong for throwing a few pebbles Ali.

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Thanks, I appreciate your kind words bro. I try to help where I can with the community - even though I've been MIA for a little bit.

I stand behind it being unethical to make offers and back out - how I reacted, is a different matter - I could have been cleaner and more professional about it, and that is what I apologized for.

We all have bad days, make bad decisions, overreact to perceived slights, it's human nature, but it's what you do to rectify the situation that you overreacted to that defines your character, and I feel you've tried to rectify it, you've forgiven him, made amends, now forgive yourself and hope he forgives you, which he should and you can move on with a clear conscience!

Zandibot said:

To me, it felt crystal clear that there was a deal. How I went about it after, different story.

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Sounds like they made an honest mistake and you had an off day, which happens. People backing out of deals is a huge issue though. It opens up all sorts shady possibilities, like front running, or someone finding your low point and passing the information on to someone else. It can be very, very serious so I wouldn't beat myself up too badly if I were you.

Wannabean said:

Sounds like they made an honest mistake and you had an off day, which happens. People backing out of deals is a huge issue though. It opens up all sorts shady possibilities, like front running, or someone finding your low point and passing the information on to someone else. It can be very, very serious so I wouldn't beat myself up too badly if I were you.

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I agree people backing out of offers is a huge issue, especially in an intimate industry like ours. It is what it is. He made right by his offer - then I gave him the option to back out to clear my conscience, he took it. No loss - just some time I suppose, I'll sell the domain for much more as time passes.

Zandibot said:

He made right by his offer - then I gave him the option to back out to clear my conscience, he took it.

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Ah I see. Yeah that's a little different. Thanks for clearing it up.

Wannabean said:

Ah I see. Yeah that's a little different. Thanks for clearing it up.

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Basically, he started by making an offer. I accepted, he backed out - then he honored it, then we both canceled it after the NP post. Cluster, but over with now.

Zandibot said:

Basically, he started by making an offer. I accepted, he backed out - then he honored it, then we both canceled it after the NP post. Cluster, but over with now.

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Ahhhhhh now I'm with you. Cool. Glad it's sorted.