Joke time

[LeeRyder]

Lets hear the good ones


Adam and God are walking through the Garden of Eden one day when Adam asks God:

"God, if we aren't allowed to touch women before we are married, why then did you make them so damned beautiful?"
to wit God replied "So you'd love them."

Adam, not satisfied then came back with "Well then, why did you make them so soft, curvy.... sexy?"
Again the Lord replied.."So you'd love them."

Adam now frustrated then asks "Then why did you make them so damned stupid!?!?!"

To which God replied "So they'd Love you."

 

[Josh]

I dont get it.

 

[LeeRyder]

your pushing it today Josh... you already have the Ozzy thing against you :P

(Us men are hard to love)


ok..next joke:

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before? "Yes", I was a salesman in the country", said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up".

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?". "One" said the young salesman. "Only one" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth??. "Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars" said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines.
Then he said his Volkswagon probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe LandCruiser"

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"

"No" answered the salesman. He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, "Sounds like the weekend's a loss, you may as well go fishing".

 

[Josh]

HAha, that one is funny

I got this one in emai lfew days back:

A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him. The newcomer asks "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here?" The man replies, " I am waiting to see the doctor." "W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?" The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem. " A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's ttthat?" "Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."

 

[InteractAsia]

here's mine for today

http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

reminds me of Homer lol

 

[Darren]

That Garden of Eden joke was in the Simpsons one time, I believe. ...Or at least, it was something like it! :D

 

[LeeRyder]

lol@anykey..

I own a Dell.. that scares me :O

There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little
girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?"
The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum
calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he
sees his dad on the couch.
He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?"
The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a
matter of fact this is the perfect penis."
The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods.
The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis
and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches
smaller it would be the perfect penis!"

 

[slipondajimmy]

one of the best sites i have came accross in a long time would be www.illwillpress.com . I love the stuff on there. Check it out everyone

 

[LeeRyder]

Taken from an Email

1. Why do Men become smarter during sex?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. Why don't women blink during foreplay?

(They don't have enough time)

3. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?

(because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. Why were men given larger brains then dogs?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

6. Why did God make men before women?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?

(don't know....it never happened)


C'MON GUYS, WE LAUGH AT YOUR BLONDE JOKES!)

8. Why did God put men on earth?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn!)