found an old joke! for those who have not read it yet:wave:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the
accounting software,severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and
jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No
mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as
DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,
undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf
2.4 and ClutterEverywhere4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run
Diaper Changing 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to
fix Husband 1.0,
but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.
Can you help please?!?!
Thank You,
Jane
Dear Jane:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due to
a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT
package.
However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator
to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because
Husband 1.0
is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your
system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is
gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
files from the system, once installed.
Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband
1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal
part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation, to play some of their "old time" favorite applications or to
get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend
6.0 or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than
encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings:
Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very
poorly and comes bundled with HeartBreak1.3.
I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange
and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also
suggest you read the entire section regarding General
PartnershipFaults(GPFs).
This a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the paren
company as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems,
regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the
command "C:\ I THOUGHTYOULOVEDME". Sometimes Tears 6.2
must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should
then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create
additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a
C:\>I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal
operations.
Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or
worse yet, Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband
1.0
to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to
delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this techtip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly and take the blame for all
GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all
the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software
to
improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3
and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help
keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you
will find many valuable embedded features such as FixesBrokenThings 2.1,
Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install
MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application and will cause
selective shut down of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only
Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install
Husband 1.0, and we here at Tech Support wish you the best
of luck in coming years.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the
accounting software,severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and
jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No
mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as
DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,
undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf
2.4 and ClutterEverywhere4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run
Diaper Changing 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to
fix Husband 1.0,
but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.
Can you help please?!?!
Thank You,
Jane
Dear Jane:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due to
a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT
package.
However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator
to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because
Husband 1.0
is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your
system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is
gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
files from the system, once installed.
Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband
1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal
part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation, to play some of their "old time" favorite applications or to
get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend
6.0 or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than
encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings:
Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very
poorly and comes bundled with HeartBreak1.3.
I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange
and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also
suggest you read the entire section regarding General
PartnershipFaults(GPFs).
This a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the paren
company as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems,
regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the
command "C:\ I THOUGHTYOULOVEDME". Sometimes Tears 6.2
must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should
then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create
additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a
C:\>I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal
operations.
Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or
worse yet, Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband
1.0
to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to
delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this techtip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly and take the blame for all
GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all
the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software
to
improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3
and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help
keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you
will find many valuable embedded features such as FixesBrokenThings 2.1,
Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install
MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application and will cause
selective shut down of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only
Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install
Husband 1.0, and we here at Tech Support wish you the best
of luck in coming years.
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