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Joke Thread: This Will Make You Laugh

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

'What are you doing?'
She asked.

'Hunting Flies'
He responded.

'Oh. ! Killing any?'
She asked.

'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?'

He responded,
'3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.
 
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AfternicAfternic
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.

During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

Source:MW2F.blogspot.com


Another one (found on Facebook) no offense to any nature lovers or Canadians.
.
A baby seal walks into a bar..
Bartender says what can I get you?
Baby seal says, anything but a Canadian Club (AKA whiskey)

Source:Facebook.com
 
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Bravo!!!!!!!
 
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Love these types of jokes.. you can change the state/province to where ever you live and just had to share it!

"Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa.
He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, 'Where am I?'
The farmer looks back up and shouts back, 'You're in a basket you dumb sh*t!' "

Courtesy of iowadawg
https://www.namepros.com/761952-du-johname-and-friends-shoot-sh-349.html#post4582699
 
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Great work! I liked the Father-Man joke!
 
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