Statue Of Liberty skit

[Kenny]

I was looking for the "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..." when I came across this.

CREED Guerrilla Theater Script: "Statue Of Liberty"

Statue of Liberty: Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free--if you can stand the pollution. Anyway, I'm here to welcome immigrants to this country, because this country was built by immigrants (and the people who were brought here to work as slaves). We say it doesn't matter where you were born--in fact, we wiped out the people who were already on this land when we first got here. What matters is that we're here now. I'm an immigrant myself...

FBI Agent: Hold it right there. You say you weren't born here?

Statue: No, I came here in the nineteenth century, to be a beacon to suffering people the world over.

FBI: Let me take a look at that beacon. (Takes torch.) This here is a Class A incendiary device, suitable for international terrorism. Where did you get it?

Statue: Well, I... I mean, I've always had it. I'm a beacon for...

FBI: Yeah right, a beacon. Listen, we're going to pass the Omnibus Counterterrorism Act to deal with people like you. It lets us deport immigrants without wasting time on details, like fair trials. As a matter of fact, we're so sure this law is going to pass, we're starting to enforce it already. It's all part of getting government off my back and onto yours. Where's your green card?

Statue: My whole body's green. Anyway, I've been here over a hundred years, we didn't need green cards back then.

FBI: Undocumented is undocumented, I don't care how long ago you snuck over here. Where do you come from?

Statue: France. I was a gift, to symbolize... You know, I just remembered, I have an appointment... I'd better be going. (Starts to hurry away.)

FBI: Come back here! (Starts to pursue her.

Ad lib while running through audience. Some examples:

FBI: You people coming over here, taking our jobs. It's got to stop!

Statue: Welfare? I stand out in that harbor all day for free.

FBI: Yeah, with that dangerous torch. I'm going to send you back where you come from. You'll be happier over there, you can have frogs legs and crossainwiches and whatever else you people eat.

Then:

Statue: (speaking to audience) Isn't anyone going to help me? If you let him deport me, he'll be coming after you next!

FBI: Don't listen to her. If we take care of this immigrant problem, we'll all be happy and have good jobs and drive big cars and have sex with beautiful women. Stop her!

Statue: Help me!

(If people from the audience stop the FBI agent or protect the Statue, other actors/leafleters get involved in pursuing her. If audience members don't get involved, the other actors protect her, and start conversations with audience members about why they didn't get involved. Either way, the Statue fights her way back to the stage.)

Statue: I understand you now. The rich people in this country never loved immigrants, they just use our skills to increase their profits! I'm not going to stand out in that harbor saying that poem any more; I quit! (Throws torch to FBI agent, who drops it as if getting burned.)

Cy