Just re-read "The Good Soldier Svejk and His Fortunes in the World War" by Jaroslav Hasek, one of the funniest novels of all time... European members may be more familiar with this author as he was Czech.
The following quote of a report written by a drunken policeman looks exactly like some UDRP complaints we've seen and on a few occasions responded to
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... and the sergeant went on writing: "Among other things during my cross-examination he confessed that he knew how to take photographs and that he liked the best photographing stations. It is true that no camera was found on him, but one can presume that he has it hidden somewhere and therefore doesn't carry it on him, so as to divert attention away from himself, which is supported by the evidence of his own confession that he would photograph if he had camera on him."
The sergeant, having a terrible head after the night before, got more and more mixed up in his report about the photographing and went on writing: "It is clear that by his own confession only the fact that he didn't have a camera on him prevented him from photographing the station buildings and places of strategic importance in general, and it is indisputable that he would have done so, if he had had that relevant photographic instrument on him which he had hidden somewhere. It is only thanks to the fact that he did not have a camera handy that no photographs were found on him"
"That's enough", said the sergeant and signed it.
He was completely satisfied with his work and read it to the lance-corporal with great pride.
"That's success," he said to the lance-corporal. "There you are, that's the way to write reports!"
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The book in various editions, including electronic one, is available on Amazon.
It appears that the author also made some prophetic findings...
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"The Austrian Ministry of Interior devised the following grades of loyalty and steadfastness toward the Monarchy: Ia, Ib, Ic—IIa, IIb, IIc—IIIa, IIIb, IIIc—IVa, IVb, IVc. The last Roman numeral, four, in connection with the letter a meant high treason and the rope, with the letter b internment, and with c an order to monitor and lock up the perpetrator.
"In the State police Station Chief’s desk there were to be found all kinds of forms and records. The Government wanted to know of each citizen how it was thought of."
Book Two, Chapter 2
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The following quote of a report written by a drunken policeman looks exactly like some UDRP complaints we've seen and on a few occasions responded to
=====
... and the sergeant went on writing: "Among other things during my cross-examination he confessed that he knew how to take photographs and that he liked the best photographing stations. It is true that no camera was found on him, but one can presume that he has it hidden somewhere and therefore doesn't carry it on him, so as to divert attention away from himself, which is supported by the evidence of his own confession that he would photograph if he had camera on him."
The sergeant, having a terrible head after the night before, got more and more mixed up in his report about the photographing and went on writing: "It is clear that by his own confession only the fact that he didn't have a camera on him prevented him from photographing the station buildings and places of strategic importance in general, and it is indisputable that he would have done so, if he had had that relevant photographic instrument on him which he had hidden somewhere. It is only thanks to the fact that he did not have a camera handy that no photographs were found on him"
"That's enough", said the sergeant and signed it.
He was completely satisfied with his work and read it to the lance-corporal with great pride.
"That's success," he said to the lance-corporal. "There you are, that's the way to write reports!"
=====
The book in various editions, including electronic one, is available on Amazon.
It appears that the author also made some prophetic findings...
=====
"The Austrian Ministry of Interior devised the following grades of loyalty and steadfastness toward the Monarchy: Ia, Ib, Ic—IIa, IIb, IIc—IIIa, IIIb, IIIc—IVa, IVb, IVc. The last Roman numeral, four, in connection with the letter a meant high treason and the rope, with the letter b internment, and with c an order to monitor and lock up the perpetrator.
"In the State police Station Chief’s desk there were to be found all kinds of forms and records. The Government wanted to know of each citizen how it was thought of."
Book Two, Chapter 2
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