advice Is this sales pitch email OK?

CharlieTango · Jun 28, 2017

Hello Russell,

Firstly I hope I am emailing the correct person, the contact page is a little confusing on your website.

My name is Lee, I'm the owner of Charlie Tango Radio Group in the UK. We have been operating since 2009. I noticed that Fifty Shades Ltd has released products bearing the name Charlie Tango and also has an active Trademark on the name since 2013. Thankfully it does not effect my Trademark Class and our businesses do not clash in that respect or indeed any other. However, I did find it funny when there was a reference in the movie to Charlie Tango on the Helicopter scene. It made me chuckle.

The reason for this email is that I thought you might like to know that I have opened offers for the domain name www.charlietango.uk to you and other related business's. I have worked very hard over the past 10 years to ensure the name Charlie Tango is on the top page of all major search engines for the search term and keywords Charlie Tango so this domain name is already up there and receiving thousand of visits per month. A quick check will show you just how well ranked we are with over 1.2 million back links. That's more than some huge corporate firms. These would benefit Fifty Shades the same way the do me. I would like the domain to go to a company who will use it and use it well. It's in my interest to insure that it is not purchased and used for purposes which would be detrimental to the brand name, and indeed to you as well.

I own Charlietango.co.uk which is my primary domain name and I have no use for the CharlieTango.UK Domain name. I have worked tirelessly to develop the name Charlie Tango and it has a superb online reputation and presence, in fact, we are the largest privately owned radio organisation in the UK so the domain name offered has a good pedigree.

This domain should serve work to your advantage in the search engines and internet marketing campaigns or redirect to your main site ,this can bring down your Adwords or other marketing expenditure just by the organic keyword searches to promote the new range of products that your company has released into the market. Secondly, having a domain name matching your respective Trademark increased the brand value should you ever decide to sell.

This domain will generate revenue and cut the cost of CPC advertising with this keyword name and is more cost effective that using Google Adwords. You are guaranteed top spot in Google, next to me and that wont ever change as I am constantly promoting the name and in the correct way.

Please let me know if this domain may interest you, you can contact me below

Regards

Mr Lee Wardill

Managing Director
Charlie Tango Radio Group
http://www.charlietango.co.uk

Domaniak · Jun 28, 2017

I understand you need money and see this as your only option, but trying to peddle the .UK version of your trademarked name, which seems to be targeted at the UK market, no less, rubs me the wrong way. It smacks too much of desperation, dire straits. Never a good way to open negotiations.

As far as the letter content is concerned, first and foremost: way too looooong and too much information for a first contact!

Quick and dirty: keep your first message as short as possible. Cut out all the totally unnecessary stuff. Like the first sentence. Try doing more homework and make sure to direct your message to the right person and then don't hedge, stick by your choice...

CharlieTango · Jun 28, 2017

Im far from desperate mate. I have no use for the domain, no one else could register it as I had the .co.uk so I got it to see if anyone else wants it. Im not asking £XXX for it either. If they bought it, they would market it, in the long run i'd benefit that way, not from the money

CharlieTango · Jun 28, 2017

if i needed money i wouldnt be spending it left right and center on new domains. its a hooby to me. not a business

Domaniak · Jun 28, 2017

I stand corrected

This said, I also stand by what I said with respect to your long winded, seemingly desperate, sales pitch. Suggest you go with as few lines as possible, centered around: "Having no use for the .UK version domain, I am exploring the option of capitalizing on it through a sale, if the compensation is right..." or words to that effect.

Pierre Barnard · Jun 28, 2017

Agree, WAY too long!

Banezer · Jun 28, 2017

i didn't not even read the post above is too long and look spamming to me, i assume it is same way an end user may react, so please shorten your write up go straight to the point. thanks for your understanding mate. good luck

UmerK · Jun 28, 2017

First impressions are rather lasting ones. Issues I see with the pitch and how you can resolve them.
1- Too long - The ideal sales pitch email of domain should be only about 15-20% of the size.
2- Longer paragraphs are harder to read - to make it more engaging break down paragraphs limit them at best to 3 lines and ideally 1 and half or 2 lines.
3- The first paragraph appears unnecessary to me, you could always start with something on lines of "Hi, My name's Lee and I own ____.com"
4- Paragraph 2,4 and 5 are more or less on same pitch, Advantages domain could bring, I usually avoid this in first email but if you really feel it is necessary limit it to one paragraph with at best 3 lines.
Lastly, keep the email short, when you're emailing busy people they would rather want to see to the point short email compared to a long story which revolves around a lot of stuff which may or may not mean anything to buyer.

I hope this helps you in your potential outbounds, just remember there's no perfect sales pitch for anything but keeping it long and unnecessary details only hurt your cause and not improve your chances of selling, cheers!

maksimfa · Jun 28, 2017

Cut out most of it.

Simply give the domain and ask if they card interested. Stop waiting their time with long story, there is time for that if it moves past initial email.

DeliDomains · Jun 28, 2017

Let the domain speak for itself. This is way too long.
Remember for a business time is money, so cut the talk and get straight to the point.

CharlieTango · Jun 28, 2017

I went with it and got a reply with interest and admiration of my hard work and professionalism

I feel rude just sending brief emails, I mean, I could be anyone, a scammer, literally anyone.
Surely its better to introduce yourself and give a little information to establish confidence and trust?

Anyway, I've a good feeling about this. Ill keep you posted.

UmerK · Jun 28, 2017

CharlieTango said:
I went with it and got a reply with interest and admiration of my hard work and professionalism

I feel rude just sending brief emails, I mean, I could be anyone, a scammer, literally anyone.
Surely its better to introduce yourself and give a little information to establish confidence and trust?

Anyway, I've a good feeling about this. Ill keep you posted.

That's interesting, best of luck and I'd be waiting for details on how it pans out for you! I hope you nail it, cheers!

CharlieTango · Jun 28, 2017

Cheers mate.

frank-germany · Jun 28, 2017

CharlieTango said:
I went with it and got a reply with interest and admiration of my hard work and professionalism

I feel rude just sending brief emails, I mean, I could be anyone, a scammer, literally anyone.
Surely its better to introduce yourself and give a little information to establish confidence and trust?

Anyway, I've a good feeling about this. Ill keep you posted.

so you were lucky

every "jeck" is different

but if you ask for advice
just listen to advice

for sure I would not have read it
through to the actual domainame in question

time is money

long first contact emails
show disrespect

in my view

I would have clicked it to spam in 1/3 sec

maksimfa · Jun 28, 2017

CharlieTango said:
Go Away Spammer. Try building quality backlinks instead of giving your domain a bad reputation before it has a chance

Heh?

Are you saying a business should not do proactive outbound?

Not sure about where you are, but in the United States it is 100% okay and legal to cold call companies.

You can either sit on your ass and wait for folks to come in or you can roll up your sleeves and go sell.

the best domain brokers out there do not wait to be called.
Hatred.com was not sold for $150k by waiting to be called, it was sold because he indentified end user and went to reach out to them.

EDIT: NEVERMIND, Did not see it was a guy spamming his own domain in this topic. lol. I believe the above is valuable advice anyway so let's keep it.

CharlieTango · Jun 28, 2017

Yeah it was directed to the guy just posting his link all over the forum.

unmark · Jun 29, 2017

Good luck with it!
You got a reply with some interest and that's a very good sign. Keep us posted here pl.

CharlieTango said:
I went with it and got a reply with interest and admiration of my hard work and professionalism

I feel rude just sending brief emails, I mean, I could be anyone, a scammer, literally anyone.
Surely its better to introduce yourself and give a little information to establish confidence and trust?

Anyway, I've a good feeling about this. Ill keep you posted.

advice Is this sales pitch email OK?

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