discuss Good Manners, Common Courtesy and Mutual Respect in the NP Community.

[deez007]

Hey Folks

Hope you are well....

First up, this is not a gripe, rant or complaint. It's just an observation and something I'm curious about.

Having worked with people from different cultures from around the globe for several years now I understand that often cultural differences and even language barriers can be misinterpreted as rude or offensive behavior even if it was not at all intended. So it's important for all of us to remember that we are part of a community that has members from around the globe, many of whom are not native English speakers. Apart from language barriers there are also cultural differences and what may be offensive in one culture could be a sign of respect and good manners in another culture...

Having said that, there is an issue that I seem to have difficulty wrapping my head around. Perhaps some of you could share your views on the issue...

I've noticed that it has become almost common for members to practice poor manners regarding PM messages by either being too lazy or too arrogant or too inconsiderate to reply. Let me stress that I am not talking about people sending unsolicited messages, in that case the person receiving the unsolicited message doesn't need to reply. I am referring to when people post a thread asking for something or asking for advice even, some of us take the time to send a PM to maybe offer some assistance or send them a few links that could address their problem/dilemma/request.. .. one would think at the very least they would reply to say thank you. Sadly this seems to be beyond them, I have noticed this sort of behavior on numerous occasions. Whilst most people are appreciative and grateful there are some who simply lack the manners or decency to take 1 minute to reply....surely this can not be a cultural thing, I would imagine common courtesy and good manners is practiced by all cultures...or am I missing something here?

I also notice that many people who post domain requests / website requests also seem to not want to reply to messages, I understand if the domains/websites don't meet the criteria. (on condition the criteria has been clearly laid out) None the less, I don't understand why it's such a mammoth task for people to even have a copy and paste response, even a 1 liner. "Thanks for your submission but I will pass on this" or something along those lines. Yeah some will say they get bombarded with PM's , well guess what...you requested a domain/websites so expect to be bombarded...there is still no excuse to over look manners or courtesy. I constantly get bombarded with PM's that are unsolicited, either people asking for opinions or trying to offer me domains or just general stuff. I response to each and every one of them...sure sometimes it might me a one liner but I think it's rude to simply ignore the person.

Am I expecting to much from people or is it just a sad reflection of where society as a whole is heading?

I mean if people can not take time to have good manners online then I can only imagine that in their everyday lives in the real world they probably adopt the same attitude, which means they would be too "busy" or caught up in their own drama to notice someone standing next to them who might need help...

Like here...someone had the time to take a picture but didn't have the time to help him up?

 

[GILSAN]

Excellent post... this is more of a problem with the present Cellphone Generation. Just look at this picture below: only the old lady is actually fully enjoying whatever action is happening... all the others are just TOO BUSY with their favorite toy.

 

[deez007]

Excellent post... this is more of a problem with the present Cellphone Generation. Just look at this picture below: only the old lady is actually fully enjoying whatever action is happening... all the others are just TOO BUSY with their favorite toy.

The sad sad truth my friend

 

[HKIBC]

...Am I expecting to much from people or is it just a sad reflection of where society as a whole is heading?

The latter, regrettably
Not to make excuses, but things are speeding up at an alarming rate and everybody's playing catch up. Common courtesy is often the first casulty. I catch myself guilty of this on occasion, hence tend to be a little more thick skinned when on the receiving end.

 

[fatter]

I like your post on English not being the primary language, I give people credit for trying, but have seen rude comments from members whos primary language is English.
You bring up a funny thing between my wife and I, I forget which country I was in but our OK hand gesture, circle with fingers, gesture actually means A-hole there.
, so when we are at family gatherings we occasionaly give each other the OK hand signal.
Joe T

 

[deez007]

I like your post on English not being the primary language, I give people credit for trying, but have seen rude comments from members whos primary language is English.
You bring up a funny thing between my wife and I, I forget which country I was in but our OK hand gesture, circle with fingers, gesture actually means A-hole there.
, so when we are at family gatherings we occasionaly give each other the OK hand signal.
Joe T

I could be wrong but i think it might be Italy.

 

[.NJ]

My issue lies with a percentage of the "new" member community.

A definite rift in the domain community has begun.

It seems alot of these "new" members are on a mission to change this industry.

Creating false trends, inflating worthless niches, not following rules, attempting to scam others, pushing junk names with nothing in common with what's requested, living a pipe dream mentality, not listening to good advice, being rude or just plain weird....

Did I miss anything?

Not trying to offend anyone.

Just my observations over the last year.

 

[Doughmange]

It seems alot of these "new" members are on a mission to change this industry.

I disagree.

Spend some time in NP chat, or break room threads, and see who the most arrogant & rude users are.

 

[Wannabean]

I recently set up a request thread with fairly loose criteria and replied courteously to everyone who messaged me. It took forever though.

By the 100th person (many of whom have not read the criteria and respond with bad hand reg's at high prices) it can get a bit old. I could definitely see how someone saying or doing the wrong thing might get snapped at. This didn't happen in my case and I'm not saying it's right but I could understand it.

There are also times when new members don't take criticism well and these situations can descend into fights quite quickly. It can also be a case if the critic being a bit harsh or just not being able to word things more sensitively.

Some people respond well to harsh truths whilst others need an arm around them. It can be difficult to know which type your dealing with on a forum and I'm sure that plays a part too.

 

[mr-x]

Shady people come and go.

Moderator has to be the worst job in the world.

 

[Internet.Domains]

My issue lies with a percentage of the "new" member community.

A definite rift in the domain community has begun.

It seems alot of these "new" members are on a mission to change this industry.

Creating false trends, inflating worthless niches, not following rules, attempting to scam others, pushing junk names with nothing in common with what's requested, living a pipe dream mentality, not listening to good advice, being rude or juse plain weird....

Did I miss anything?

Not trying to offend anyone.

Just my observations over the last year.

Many new domain investors are taken advantage of by the "establishment"...Probably why the new members want to change the industry: for the good....The "establishment" is full of people that would not help the guy in the OP picture, but would steal his wallet...Change can be good for these reasons. Politics and "friends" circle jerking each other is far too common of a practice by many well known people in the industry. They pump each other to keep credibility, although many times they get snagged, like Adam Dicker got snagged. There are more out there, proceed with caution.

 

[.NJ]

I disagree.

Spend some time in NP chat, or break room threads, and see who the most arrogant & rude users are.

The chat room is the same 10 or 15 people everyday. It's a very small portion of the forum.

There is a much larger scale of members I'm speaking of in general.

I'm not saying all "new" members at all.

But there has been a very large influx of the "new" members I'm speaking of.

 

[creataweb]

There are a couple of troublemakers in the chat room and I think they keep a lot of people from wanting to even bother posting in there.

 

[deez007]

I like the fact that this now being openly discussed and it's not turning into a boxing match, instead everyone is sharing their views and opinions amicably...

Awesome!!!

 

[Cdomains]

What can be done?

 

[creataweb]

I also want to add that anyone can see the chat even if not logged in. Makes us look bad when outsiders or new members see the crap that goes on in there.

 

[PreciousNickia]

You are absolutely right and I am happy to see someone address this issue. To be frank, some of the people here are so rude, pompous and without decency. I know that domaining is a business but we are still only human. Though being the Internet, it is important to still be respectful of each other. This is a community right?

 

[deez007]

I also want to add that anyone can see the chat even if not logged in. Makes us look bad when outsiders or new members see the crap that goes on in there.

Yep, I also think that a lot of new members end up being too intimidated to ask questions or post comments because they maybe scared of getting ridiculed by older members who have a knack of being rude.

 

[deez007]

You are absolutely right and I am happy to see someone address this issue. To be frank, some of the people here are so rude, pompous and without decency. I know that domaining is a business but we are still only human. Though being the Internet, it is important to still be respectful of each other. This is a community right?

Yep, spot on! As much as domaining is a business, mutual respect and manners should not take a back seat.

 

[mad409]

Yep, spot on! As much as domaining is a business, mutual respect and manners should not take a back seat.

Like you mentioned NP is a very diverse community but also age, education and upbringing plays a huge role. Therefore not one definitive answer to this but rather multiple factors.

 

[deez007]

Like you mentioned NP is a very diverse community but also age, education and upbringing plays a huge role. Therefore not one definitive answer to this but rather multiple factors.

Absolutely, there are no doubt multiple factors at play. Although I do believe if we focused on the basics: Tolerance/mutual respect/manners it would probably be a big step in the right direction

 

[deez007]

There are a couple of troublemakers in the chat room and I think they keep a lot of people from wanting to even bother posting in there.

I tend to pop in to the chatroom now and then....but sometimes just go there and observe and yep, I did notice a couple of peeps who seem to have low self esteem issues which is probably why they feel the need to be arrogant and cocky.

 

[Haris]

tl:dr