In class the teacher said, "Let's play a little game... I'll hide something in my hands, and describe it and you guess what it is. What's round and red with a seed on the inside?"

Johnny said, "A cherry."

Teacher said, "No, it's a plum, but it shows you are thinking."

So Johnny retaliated and said, "Teacher, I have something in my hand that is long, stiff and slim and has a red tip on the end... What is it?"

The teacher got angry and said, "You should be ashamed of doing such nasty things in front of the other children!"

And Johnny replied, "Well, it's only a matchstick in my hand, but it shows you are thinking!"

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

*she called me to get my phone number.
*she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
*she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.