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Reload this Page Wife & Husband Jokes

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Old 01-06-2009, 09:05 AM THREAD STARTER               #1 (permalink)
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bigcassgbr is just really nicebigcassgbr is just really nicebigcassgbr is just really nicebigcassgbr is just really nicebigcassgbr is just really nicebigcassgbr is just really nicebigcassgbr is just really nicebigcassgbr is just really nice
 

Wife & Husband Jokes

Wife : Honey..... What are You Looking for ?

Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U ' ve been reading our marriage certificate for
an hour??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

**********

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures you
Continue to do so.


**********

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

**********

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem
can there be greater than this one?"

**********

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and
lighten your burden.

Boy: It ' s very kind of you, darling, But I don ' t have any worries or
troubles.
????: NamePros.com http://www.namepros.com/the-break-room/548404-wife-and-husband-jokes.html
Girl: Well that ' s because we aren ' t married yet.

**********
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy ' s lap.

**********

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my
father hadn ' t left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I ' d have married you NO MATTER
WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

**********
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

**********
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
married her?"
Millionaire: " Billionaire"

**********
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I ' ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

**********
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me: my pretty face
or my body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:"I like your sense of
humor."
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
Be Happy... Don't Worry
 
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Lol
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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eggymusic has much to be proud ofeggymusic has much to be proud ofeggymusic has much to be proud ofeggymusic has much to be proud ofeggymusic has much to be proud ofeggymusic has much to be proud ofeggymusic has much to be proud ofeggymusic has much to be proud of
 
wow these are funny
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Great Jokes
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Nice one, even my partner saw the funny side of them, she must still be in the xmas spirit he he
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Old 01-06-2009, 10:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
I'll do it
 
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My wife: I want a divorce.
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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lol I love the last one.. so mean!
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:53 PM   #8 (permalink)
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lol..thats hilarious..thanks for the laugh..really need it..
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Old 01-08-2009, 08:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
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Old 01-08-2009, 08:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
Be Happy... Don't Worry
 
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Originally Posted by Waiter
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

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Old 01-08-2009, 11:41 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I ' ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.


great jokes
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Old 01-08-2009, 11:49 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Diabetes
Just to add to this thread
Husband :Great news..Just won the lottery and pack your bags!

Wife : Wow..where are we going??

Husband : I am not going any where.
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Old 01-13-2009, 08:44 AM   #13 (permalink)
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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher!
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