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Old 01-06-2007, 03:42 PM   · #1
mis_chiff
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Telemarketers getting you down?

Constantly being harrased by telemarketing?
Here are some tips that will
let you poke fun at them and possibly get
them to stop calling (cause they'll think your nuts)
They might actually get the point that it is THEM that is annoying!

10.) When they ask, "How are you today"?, tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died."

9.) If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8.) Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my gosh! Judy, how have you been"? Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where in the world she could know you from.

7.) If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends. Would you be my friend"?

6.) If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5.) Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask them if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4.) After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3.) Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right"? The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say goodbye and hang up.

2.) Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma"?

1.) First and foremost, tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

I have used number 9 and they hung up on me

Enjoy!


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Old 01-06-2007, 03:56 PM   · #2
The Equivocate
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#3 is from a TV show but I can't think of which one. Maybe Seinfeld?
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Old 01-06-2007, 04:19 PM   · #3
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Yup that's a Seinfeld line. (EDIT: Just looked it up - season 4's "The Pitch")

Was called lots of times by idiots trying to sell me things where I used to work back in 2004. In the end, layoff time was 2 months away so I just let the phone ring. In the final month, I never answered it once.

Wish I had some of these back then!
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Old 01-06-2007, 04:19 PM   · #4
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Old 01-06-2007, 04:43 PM   · #5
mis_chiff
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Yup. it was a Seinfeld episode ..
my sister sends me this stuff....
she has alot of time on her hands
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Old 01-06-2007, 07:33 PM   · #6
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My son learned a few words of Chinese and has made up a few more so he simply starts talking in Chinese. Works like a charm.
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Old 01-07-2007, 08:27 PM   · #7
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#3 being from Seinfeld or not it is indeed clever, quick and even polite.

I liked that and will use when necessary.

Thanks for the great list.
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Old 01-08-2007, 06:53 AM   · #8
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This is great, ill have to try them next time.
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Old 01-08-2007, 05:24 PM   · #9
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Hilarious list, too bad I don't get called by telemarketers anymore due to the anti-call list.
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