English... 5-year plan.

10-07-2005, 05:33 AM

English... 5-year plan.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the European
Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-th year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in
the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

.X. · 10-07-2005, 06:03 AM

WOW!! This gives me a whole new chance to learn how to spell

wicked_gal00 · 10-07-2005, 06:31 AM

Had trouble reading it near the bottom. I've read about this before, hehe.

Morph · 10-07-2005, 06:34 AM

Amazingly Funny

BuLLDoG · 10-07-2005, 06:58 AM

lmao that was funny, weirdst thing was I didnt really have a trouble understanding the bottom few lines haha. I hope this is not true and is just a joke lol

swimjenni · 10-07-2005, 08:33 AM

It looks like a whole new language at the bottome! I hope this is just a joke and not real... we will all have to learn to spell again!

budget · 10-07-2005, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

quality

NuPagady · 10-07-2005, 09:51 AM

Haha, the bottom was easiest for me, since it's almost exactly as it spells in my language lol

Cyberian · 10-07-2005, 10:17 AM

Oh boy, new reg names....

Good one Mike

PolurNET · 10-07-2005, 10:21 AM

Ja, spreche Deutsche ist gut

10-07-2005, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Oh boy, new reg names....

Didn't even think of that angle- what's wrong w/ me? It must be the result of spending too much time in DW and not enough time in DoNA, of late. Have to do something about that. Heaven forbid that I get lost in development at the expense of domain name speculation!

Definitely too mainstream, IMHO.

????: NamePros.com http://www.namepros.com/the-break-room/129604-english-5-year-plan.html

Although the above "English" scenario is more than a bit of a stretch, wouldn't it be something if, somewhere down the line, languages were modified and today's strong keywords began playing second fiddle to the newcomers? Muv ovr "Europe" and mak sum rom- urop haz arivd! What a field day for the typo/mispel clan.

Gene · 10-07-2005, 11:32 AM

Awesome! 26 letters was way more than I could handle. Hehe... Love it!

GJ · 10-07-2005, 01:24 PM

I was a bit puzzled to start of with then I got it!

mholt · 10-07-2005, 03:24 PM

I've seen a different version of that - very funny

Ja, ich spreche Deutche auch. Ich finde dass natrulich interessen. Es is mein Lieblingsfach! Wirklich fast. Ich mag das Orchester besser.

I don't even know if that's right -_- I'm only in second year German, but we just took a quiz on "dass".

Stephen · 10-07-2005, 03:29 PM

Very nice. Bravo.

Stephen

chelsea · 10-07-2005, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by PolurNET

Ja, spreche Deutsche ist gut

Nein, Anand, das ist leider nicht akzeptabel.
????: NamePros.com http://www.namepros.com/showthread.php?t=129604

Good story anyway, "nice" to read.

Peter · 10-07-2005, 05:22 PM

very good, not sure if I have seen that before or not.

Shouldn't really laugh about it tho, with the Eu anything is plausable lol.

PolurNET · 10-07-2005, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by chelsea

Originally Posted by PolurNET

Ja, spreche Deutsche ist gut

Nein, Anand, das ist leider nicht akzeptabel.

Ich spreche Deutsche ein bisschen, Sie sind auf Deutsch sehr fließend

Xombie · 10-07-2005, 09:32 PM

My head hurts. So much that it took me a while to realise this is a joke. It is a joke isn't it.. ?

10-07-2005, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Ich spreche Deutsche ein bisschen, Sie sind auf Deutsch sehr fließend

Danke. I won't hold it against you. Das ist gut! Ya. Der frekin fließend's vil gut yu avry tim.
English and German are too harsh for the ear. Italiano es multa bella. Mi piace Italiano. Je pense le Française c'est tres joli, aussi, et je suis un Américain-Allemagne.

Quote:

My head hurts. So much that it took me a while to realise this is a joke. It is a joke isn't it.. ?

A joke? Who said anything about a joke? Don't tell me I've been foiled again!!

Andromeda · 10-07-2005, 10:37 PM

lol.. that was great stuff

barefoottech · 10-07-2005, 11:27 PM

Ze hav WAYZ ov makin U talk Funny

Notius · 10-10-2005, 08:03 AM

With this change I am sure they will be changing the extension to .kom to so I finally jump on some good names like:
komputer.kom
hardvar.kom
pepl.kom

and so on. Thanks for the heads up!!

Great post! I needed a good laugh this morning.

gchick · 10-10-2005, 08:38 AM

wow...did i just read a transylvanian letter or what?
funny stuff though...i just got hard time reading at the end with all teh "v" and the "w" and the missing letters...

True_Snake · 10-10-2005, 10:08 AM

Thanks Grrilla

!

Actually, if I remember correctly, the EU did want to make a modified English which would include certain German, Dutch, French, etc. words.

So, it's not all fiction

!

True_Snake

10-07-2005, 05:33 AM	THREAD STARTER #1 (permalink)
Grrilla Guest Posts: n/a	English... 5-year plan. English... 5-year plan. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-th year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

10-07-2005, 06:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
.X. Revolution Calling! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: NamePros Avenue Posts: 5,920	WOW!! This gives me a whole new chance to learn how to spell Last edited by Xfactor; 10-07-2005 at 09:37 AM.

10-07-2005, 06:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
wicked_gal00 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 2,383	Had trouble reading it near the bottom. I've read about this before, hehe. __________________ Annotate!Pro - App for drawing directly on top of your desktop for effective meetings and communication.

10-07-2005, 06:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
Morph Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: England Posts: 4,567	Amazingly Funny __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always have what you've always had.

10-07-2005, 06:58 AM	#5 (permalink)
BuLLDoG NamePros Regular Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: England Posts: 934	lmao that was funny, weirdst thing was I didnt really have a trouble understanding the bottom few lines haha. I hope this is not true and is just a joke lol __________________ Free iPhone \| Free Facebook Likes

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10-07-2005, 08:33 AM	#6 (permalink)
swimjenni Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida Posts: 1,067	It looks like a whole new language at the bottome! I hope this is just a joke and not real... we will all have to learn to spell again! __________________ spanish olive oil

10-07-2005, 09:51 AM	#8 (permalink)
NuPagady NamePros Regular Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 483	Haha, the bottom was easiest for me, since it's almost exactly as it spells in my language lol

10-07-2005, 10:17 AM	#9 (permalink)
Cyberian Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Emerald Triangle Posts: 4,592	Oh boy, new reg names.... Good one Mike __________________ Remember who your loyalties are divided between, and choose for the right reasons who deserves them.

10-07-2005, 10:21 AM	#10 (permalink)
PolurNET Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: I ♥ Business Law Posts: 3,082	Ja, spreche Deutsche ist gut

10-07-2005, 11:32 AM	#12 (permalink)
Gene DomainersUniversity.com Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Oswego, NY Posts: 4,702 Follow @GenePimentel	Awesome! 26 letters was way more than I could handle. Hehe... Love it! __________________ . . Expired Domain Search -- ExpiredDomainBoss.com \| Sell Domain Names -- DomainProfitsClub.com -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10-07-2005, 01:24 PM	#13 (permalink)
GJ Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,226	I was a bit puzzled to start of with then I got it!

10-07-2005, 03:24 PM	#14 (permalink)
mholt DNOA Member Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 5,040	I've seen a different version of that - very funny Ja, ich spreche Deutche auch. Ich finde dass natrulich interessen. Es is mein Lieblingsfach! Wirklich fast. Ich mag das Orchester besser. I don't even know if that's right -_- I'm only in second year German, but we just took a quiz on "dass".

10-07-2005, 03:29 PM	#15 (permalink)
Stephen Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Georgia, USA Posts: 3,238	Very nice. Bravo. Stephen

10-07-2005, 05:22 PM	#17 (permalink)
Peter NamePros Expert Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 5,074	very good, not sure if I have seen that before or not. Shouldn't really laugh about it tho, with the Eu anything is plausable lol.

10-07-2005, 09:32 PM	#19 (permalink)
Xombie NamePros Regular Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 644	My head hurts. So much that it took me a while to realise this is a joke. It is a joke isn't it.. ?

10-07-2005, 10:37 PM	#21 (permalink)
Andromeda Account Suspended Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 862	lol.. that was great stuff

10-07-2005, 11:27 PM	#22 (permalink)
barefoottech The MINISITE King Join Date: May 2005 Location: QTHR Posts: 4,594	Ze hav WAYZ ov makin U talk Funny __________________ Studio51 Sites! Often Copied Always Amazing Never Bettered.

10-10-2005, 08:03 AM	#23 (permalink)
Notius New Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Los Angeles, Ca Posts: 14	Great!! With this change I am sure they will be changing the extension to .kom to so I finally jump on some good names like: komputer.kom hardvar.kom pepl.kom and so on. Thanks for the heads up!! Great post! I needed a good laugh this morning.

10-10-2005, 08:38 AM	#24 (permalink)
gchick Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Twitter world Posts: 1,561 Follow @sassygirlster	wow...did i just read a transylvanian letter or what? funny stuff though...i just got hard time reading at the end with all teh "v" and the "w" and the missing letters... __________________ 7th Media Design Studio Big Outsource - High Quality Staffs for Reasonable Rates

10-10-2005, 10:08 AM	#25 (permalink)
True_Snake In-House Graphic Designer Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 4,288	Thanks Grrilla ! Actually, if I remember correctly, the EU did want to make a modified English which would include certain German, Dutch, French, etc. words. So, it's not all fiction ! True_Snake __________________ Logos:PM ME! OVECHKIN.INFO! Rising Star!

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English... 5-year plan.

Great!!