Hey, Tippy. You'll be missed if you decide to really leave.
I believe you when you say that you had your sights on that name even before it showed up in the expired section. Like many here, I have my own lists of expiring and available names that I chase after as funds allow. When one of my candidate names appears in a public list, there's more pressure to bid more, or to register before I had planned to. While rare, when this happens I feel no need to donate NP$ to the list poster.
However, these lists are very helpful to many people, specially our new members, and serve as a way for them to make less bad regs early on. Such newbie mistakes cost domainers our hard-earned $$, and benefit only big companies like netsol. While it sometimes affects me personally, I prefer the free flow of info to the "old boys club" type of situation.
Anyway, whatever you finally decide, good luck to you! :tu: